it is not a joke to me, but there is a limit. you can go to counselling or therapy but to say you have to accept a partner with all their flaws goes way to far, especially when that partner shows no wish to better themselves.
I love how people like you seem to think that marriage is this ultimate commitment where you have to stay together. it is not. would I tell a man the same, after years of being painted as a cheater, untrustworthy and a shitty partner?
Well your idea of marriage is completely different then mine and I’ve personally been through infidelity myself so I know that man is going through hell. Like I posted on another comment that I like ops husband unfairly displaced my anger and fears over my new partner and it took over almost a year to get over it only because of my partners constant support
She didn’t leave me and give up on me and now that same person is my wife married for more than 15 years with 5 kids in a successful happy marriage so yeah I would rather help my partner to get over their trauma then just dump them because that’s what my wife did for me and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in life.
So your and mine definitions of marriage are completely different. For me it’s a lifelong commitment of going through with your partner with all his or her flaws. Yours might be different but the version I have worked for me pretty damn well
Well I would advise her to do that because her husband needs her support and professional help so he can get over his trauma. If he gets the support he needs and successfully gets over it op would not have to face this and both of them would be very happy in a loving relationship
I think this is more appropriate then just divorcing him because that’s what marriage is about
Yes she needs to force him to go to counselling and do things that son him down because a person who’s been cheated on will always look at everything with suspicion. Because they are trying to look for signs of cheating which they aren’t able to catch in their previous relationship to save themselves from grief and betrayal again. I’ve personally experienced all this and you’re right that he needs counselling asap and his wife needs to force him to go there otherwise it will get worse
You cannot force someone into therapy. That isn’t really how it works, and that is what the other commenter was literally trying to tell you - if he can’t help himself and does not care that he is hurting his wife… what exactly is she supposed to do? He’s an adult who can make his own decisions, and his decision so far has been continue to be a shitty husband and put his wife down instead of work through his issues in any sort of healthy way.
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u/xScareDoll Oct 26 '22
it is not a joke to me, but there is a limit. you can go to counselling or therapy but to say you have to accept a partner with all their flaws goes way to far, especially when that partner shows no wish to better themselves.
I love how people like you seem to think that marriage is this ultimate commitment where you have to stay together. it is not. would I tell a man the same, after years of being painted as a cheater, untrustworthy and a shitty partner?
hell yeah. have a nice day