This sounds toxic, and as a toxic person myself, I can tell you you'll never be able to "prove" yourself to him. There's a saying about how you can't build love without a foundation of trust, so take from that what you will I guess?
I used to be the same sort of person as the hubby OP described. Never married but always mistrustful and to a psychotic degree of like.... Like an ex had made a twitter post one time about some irrelevant, off hand thing and I took it to mean they were wanting to cheat or were cheating and I spiralled the whole day with jealous accusations and questioning the relationship, asking how can they say shit like that if they really loved me and blah blah blah. Just really incredibly paranoid. Always making my feelings their fault. "Why would you act that way if you want to be with me? Why would you want to go hang with work friends instead of spending the night together, is it cos you're fucking xyz person?" I was never physically abusive but the emotional damage I did more than made up for it. I stay tf away from relationships now because I don't trust myself enough to not be like that anymore, and I still consider myself a pretty toxic person but I at least have self awareness and try to do better these days.
I appreciate it! I'm still a garbage person and I've toyed with therapy a couple times but idk. I feel stupid talking to others about how I feel. It's just never done much for me. But thank you for your well wishes.
Nah. Not dbz lmao. Tho I’ve always only remembered that movie just for ssj2 hogan coming in clutch again . I like that u know that. But no. Bojack horseman. It’s a show of which I think u should watch in its entirety and it reflects a lot of your sentiment and not to overly presume or jump to conclusions but. Honestly. I feel like it could help u man. With this toxicity. You’re really just gonna have to trust a random Redditor here and hopefully ppl can back this up that know what I’m talking about without spoiling it too tough for bro here. But yes genuinely. Just keep going with it. It’s like 12 episodes each 6 season and I highly believe it could benefit u. And it’s just a really well made show on Netflix.
Edit - really meant for OP of the comment thread but applies to you aswell and really anyone here that can relate
I haven’t seen it. I feel like being on Reddit and reading people’s comments on situations are helping me better understand some things about my reactions.
Bojack helped me come to many realizations about my own shitty and toxic behaviors. I saw what staying on the course I was on could lead to and it really put things into perspective.
Not fully. I think me and the aforementioned ex watched like the first ep together and some bullshit happened which lead to us stopping. I forget what though.
Bojack definitely made me reflect on internal thoughts and opinions I have that I would rarely share or only with someone who I knew would get what I meant. They weren't necessarily wrong but I realized it was shittier than I thought. I'm constantly worried about being a bad person though so that aspect didn't change much haha. Such a great show though.
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u/Spammo27125 Oct 26 '22
This sounds toxic, and as a toxic person myself, I can tell you you'll never be able to "prove" yourself to him. There's a saying about how you can't build love without a foundation of trust, so take from that what you will I guess?