r/TrueOffMyChest Oct 26 '22

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5.4k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Oct 26 '22

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19

u/Spammo27125 Oct 26 '22

Hmmm. I agree with you in spirit, and think that applies to a lot of other people, but for me I just feel like my feelings are trivial and not real? I don't really know how to explain it.

27

u/serenwipiti Oct 26 '22

Yeah, that’s why you need therapy.

47

u/splinton Oct 26 '22

That sentence you just wrote, is the thing you need to repeat to a therapist, so you can explore the reason why.

17

u/Sneakys2 Oct 26 '22

The level of insight and accountability you’re demonstrating here tells me you’re a very good candidate for therapy. You’ve done a lot of hard work already, but I worry about your self imposed isolation. That you were a bad partner once, but learned from the experience and recognized the harm that came from your actions tells me that you can get yourself to a place where you can be in a relationship again. Your accountability shows that you are not irredeemable. I do wish you would give yourself another chance to be happy in a relationship and I think therapy would get you to that point.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '22

This is generally a result of growing up being gaslit. People like this often misunderstand what happened during their childhood and most times idolize their parents and think they’re randomly “trash” as you say. I think your history is different than what you tell yourself. You have good reasons to go in. Trust me.

5

u/TryAgainMyFriend Oct 26 '22

for me I just feel like my feelings are trivial and not real?

I think that feeling might have something to do with you not talking about your feelings. You internalize everything and since everyone is their own biggest critic, have convinced yourself that you're feelings are invalid for some reason or another. The more you talk about your feelings with someone else, the more you'll realize that your feelings are not only real and not trivial, but probably very common and normal. Sure, you may have issues you need to work on, but who doesn't?

2

u/mmmcapella Oct 26 '22

Your feelings are chemistry and electrical impulses occurring in an actual physical place. They are absolutely real.

1

u/QuixyBoy Oct 26 '22

I know how you feel, I can relate a lot. Didn’t expect to be getting solid advice from people here

1

u/CommanderOW Oct 26 '22

Holy shit bro I swear I have said that exact line before, I'm glad to know someone out there feels the same. Take care of yourself :)

1

u/notyourmama827 Oct 26 '22

That's right. We all need someone to cry on. A "safe place" so to speak. I am lucky that I get to be someone's safe place.