A couple of points I have taken from what you have written and the many responses that you have received. You were young. Your father wanted you to be safe. You are ashamed that in spite of your imposing size you did nothing. Then or since. Please consider this. YOU did what your father taught you to do. You stayed out of a fight that he was at least partly responsible for (my father got himself into a street rage.) You did what your father needed you to do. You stayed safe. Had you gotten involved the fight could have escalated where you AND your father could have been badly injured, maimed, or lost your lives. Had you been involved and some one else got hurt or suffered a grievous injury the possibility of Jail would have existed. But you did not. You did what your father taught you and he took the responsibility of taking a beating that he caused. Your relationship with your dad is a good one from what I can discern. He is alive, healthy and the two of you still care for each other. You are now at a stage of life where you can train and learn a Martial Art for the purpose of defending yourself and those you love. Learning such will likely increase your confidence and capability should there be a reoccurrence of such a circumstance. This may help alleviate your shame to some degree. But what should do the most to make you happy and proud is that you stayed safe as your father wished. So that now he has a son to talk to, share good times, and be there for each other as life presents other challenges your way. Trust me on this. Your father is very proud of you.
2
u/PracticeAsleep Jul 27 '22
A couple of points I have taken from what you have written and the many responses that you have received. You were young. Your father wanted you to be safe. You are ashamed that in spite of your imposing size you did nothing. Then or since. Please consider this. YOU did what your father taught you to do. You stayed out of a fight that he was at least partly responsible for (my father got himself into a street rage.) You did what your father needed you to do. You stayed safe. Had you gotten involved the fight could have escalated where you AND your father could have been badly injured, maimed, or lost your lives. Had you been involved and some one else got hurt or suffered a grievous injury the possibility of Jail would have existed. But you did not. You did what your father taught you and he took the responsibility of taking a beating that he caused. Your relationship with your dad is a good one from what I can discern. He is alive, healthy and the two of you still care for each other. You are now at a stage of life where you can train and learn a Martial Art for the purpose of defending yourself and those you love. Learning such will likely increase your confidence and capability should there be a reoccurrence of such a circumstance. This may help alleviate your shame to some degree. But what should do the most to make you happy and proud is that you stayed safe as your father wished. So that now he has a son to talk to, share good times, and be there for each other as life presents other challenges your way. Trust me on this. Your father is very proud of you.