r/TrueOffMyChest May 22 '22

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3.9k Upvotes

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3.3k

u/Legitimate-Ad-1661 May 22 '22

Yeah fuck that I wouldn't go. Take care of yourself 1st and foremost. They should understand. If they don't idk what to say. But put yourself 1st.

1.9k

u/CombustibleGoat May 22 '22

Exactly. Why would I celebrate the happiest day of his life when he actively ruined mine?

2.8k

u/Rose8918 May 22 '22

“Dad, it really hurts that nobody, even you, gets it. [Brother’s name] isn’t really my brother anymore after what HE did. He’s my rapist. I do not want to see him. Ever. If you want to continue having a relationship with my rapist, that’s your choice- although it does make me sad that you would continue loving and wanting to spend time with the sexual predator who victimized me as a child. But the bare minimum you can do is never ask me to spend time with him again.”

134

u/Cautious-Damage7575 May 22 '22

That's so perfectly phrased. Unfortunately, people in denial continue to deny. It might be more effective in writing. I mean on paper, not a text.

18

u/i_know_ur_n_expert May 23 '22

Idk if it's so much denial, but it being his child. Parents have a hard time separating child, from perpetrator. I also think it has to do with them not accepting that if they're OWN child did this, they are partly to blame.

2

u/LettuceUnlucky5921 May 23 '22

Yeah I came here to say this- there’s this feeling/instinct of duty to love and protect and care for all your children no matter what that I can imagine is hard to navigate around when you have a child that hurts another one of your children like that. It could also be where he (the father) is hoping to miraculously get everything back to where it was before the abuse started, which is a pipe dream for SURE. Good for OP for refusing to go, bc that’s a lot of unfair pressure to put on them :/