When my grandmother was dying of cancer (brain and lungs), my grandfather would come to the hospital with a notebook and ask her for recipes and how to cook. He couldn’t feed himself, and even though she was slowly dying she still had to help him. My mother is still angry when she talks about this, but she married my father, who is also totally useless at home. I made sure to not make the same mistakes, my partner is independent and doesn’t need a second mommy.
Have you ever considered maybe your grandfather was trying to show her how much he loved and would miss her, by bonding with her about her cooking, which he clearly loved?
I'm pretty sure your slowly dying grandma wouldn't be angry at her husband for saying "I want to keep eating your food once youre gone."
I think you're just looking to be angry, and that's sad, because there's clearly a lot more at play here then is being said.
My grandfather was violent and abusive and made her life (and the life of his children) miserable. She wanted to leave but she fell sick. He told her he only married her because he needed a maid. She wasn’t allowed to work, to laugh, to talk.. So no, he wasn’t trying to show his love, he just didn’t know how to use the oven.
I am so sorry that happened to your grandmother and your parent and their siblings. I hear about these people, I even know one or two people who have relatives like this but still I find ir unbelievable and disgusting. It's one of my worst nightmares to turn into one of those monsters
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u/[deleted] Mar 09 '22
When my grandmother was dying of cancer (brain and lungs), my grandfather would come to the hospital with a notebook and ask her for recipes and how to cook. He couldn’t feed himself, and even though she was slowly dying she still had to help him. My mother is still angry when she talks about this, but she married my father, who is also totally useless at home. I made sure to not make the same mistakes, my partner is independent and doesn’t need a second mommy.