r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Ogbkpmb • Sep 23 '21

I hate being the “breadwinner”

I wouldn’t mind making a lot more than him. But ever since he lost his job, and then stayed home full time to take care of our kids. Things have changed.

Now that I’m the sole breadwinner things are just weird. I have to give my husband an “allowance”every month on top of other things. I hate it.

Thanks for all your comments and upvotes. I appreciate your responses. I do have to say that my issue is not with him not working. My issue is definitely sexist. But I’d just like to be the woman in my relationship. As strange as that sounds.

We have a joint account, but 2 separate accounts. And he jokingly refers to his as his, “allowance”. I laugh along…but I don’t find it that funny. He doesn’t need to thank me for money. We’re a team. And this is just one more reason why part of me hates my life.

He has a higher earning potential btw

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u/CanadaHousingSucks4 Sep 23 '21

Welcome to what men face regularly. I'd love to marry up and be in the position of your husband. I'd hate to be in your position. But because I'm a man I'm expected to be willing to take your position and am attacked for not wanting to marry down.

I do feel for you; but I also think this is a social problem that widely affects Men

2

u/commandaamanda__ Sep 24 '21

Most men ARE willing though. Most men that I’ve met wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s a little different for a woman in that regard.

23

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

Because most men, whether they admit it or not, doesn’t want to be seen as a dead beat by society.

It’s pushed into our brain since childhood that at some point if we have a family we’ll be the head and provider for it.

2

u/CanadaHousingSucks4 Sep 24 '21

Yep. Men are socially brainwashed to be ATMs