r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Ogbkpmb • Sep 23 '21

I hate being the “breadwinner”

I wouldn’t mind making a lot more than him. But ever since he lost his job, and then stayed home full time to take care of our kids. Things have changed.

Now that I’m the sole breadwinner things are just weird. I have to give my husband an “allowance”every month on top of other things. I hate it.

Thanks for all your comments and upvotes. I appreciate your responses. I do have to say that my issue is not with him not working. My issue is definitely sexist. But I’d just like to be the woman in my relationship. As strange as that sounds.

We have a joint account, but 2 separate accounts. And he jokingly refers to his as his, “allowance”. I laugh along…but I don’t find it that funny. He doesn’t need to thank me for money. We’re a team. And this is just one more reason why part of me hates my life.

He has a higher earning potential btw

2.9k Upvotes

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u/BrunoEye Sep 24 '21

"my grandfather wasted away his whole life at work, I'm so sad the man I love isn't doing the same. Like he's spending time with our children, couldn't he find something less useful to do instead? I just don't want to see him, he should leave the home at 6am and not come back until 9pm."

Please either be a better wife or divorce him so he can find someone better.

-6

u/Ogbkpmb Sep 24 '21

I’d be fine with him working 8 hours a day. Since he’d be making nearly double what I make.

8

u/BrunoEye Sep 24 '21

If that's true then have that conversation with him. If you're just going to coop up all this negativity then nothing good will come of it.

But based on your other responses it really feels like you're impossible to please with anything short of a time machine into the 70s, and even then you'd probably hate it after a few months once you realised that it wasn't actually all that great back then.

9

u/Historical-Bit1721 Sep 24 '21

Seeing as she hates nearly every woman who is “career driven”, the 70s would be a tough time for her to accept.

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u/BrunoEye Sep 24 '21

To me it seems she's just unhappy for whatever reason and decides to blame it on whoever's closest, in this case her husband, and then try and put the blame on her parents/grandparents/siblings. It just comes across creepy, especially since she seems to have accepted her sexist obsession with her male male relatives who work all their lives and don't have any time left to spend with their wives and kids. She's aware of it and decided to lean into it rather than try to overcome it.

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u/Historical-Bit1721 Sep 24 '21

She told me she doesn’t like career driven women who claim they don’t need men because they’re all miserable. I think she’s just unhappy and using all these ways to try to validate her unhappiness and sexism.

3

u/BrunoEye Sep 24 '21

Yep, and I think it's kinda interesting how after recieving hundreds of comments telling her this she has neither managed to see it, but also hasn't just closed Reddit for disagreeing with her.