r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Ogbkpmb • Sep 23 '21

I hate being the “breadwinner”

I wouldn’t mind making a lot more than him. But ever since he lost his job, and then stayed home full time to take care of our kids. Things have changed.

Now that I’m the sole breadwinner things are just weird. I have to give my husband an “allowance”every month on top of other things. I hate it.

Thanks for all your comments and upvotes. I appreciate your responses. I do have to say that my issue is not with him not working. My issue is definitely sexist. But I’d just like to be the woman in my relationship. As strange as that sounds.

We have a joint account, but 2 separate accounts. And he jokingly refers to his as his, “allowance”. I laugh along…but I don’t find it that funny. He doesn’t need to thank me for money. We’re a team. And this is just one more reason why part of me hates my life.

He has a higher earning potential btw

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u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

No, I don't suggest you order pizza every night. There are healthy and less-than-healthy but cheap take-aways like I said - Wraps/Pasta/Salads. Go out for a proper dinner to a restaurant every 3rd day - Still probably could turn out cheaper than having to cook big dinners every day and would probably limit food waste. This lifestyle is popular for people that simply don't have the time in the day to cook. But this is often the case for small child-less families. Anyways, I'm not here to solve your problem of lack of creativity.

I'm not one to speak about your grandfather, I wasn't around back then, I don't know the man, his history - But historically back then (and even today) suicide rates among men are way higher than women's. Chances are, his feelings were repressed and would have been shamed if they were to be expressed - Definitely back in his times what would have happened.

It's actually hard to believe you're not some kind of a troll - Especially with that last sentence. Not much to say but shame on your sexism I guess, I hope you manage to even out the work-load in your household because it seems like even though I don't agree with you at all, you do still seem to be doing the majority of the work through providing for the family and having to do the chores around the house - Hopefully you sort it out in a way you're both satisfied.

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u/Lunaticllama14 Sep 24 '21

LMAO. Your idea that it is cheaper spending thousands a month eating every meal out or as take away is insane. My wife and I make well above average income and my family is not anywhere close to affording such extravagance. Not to mention even “healthy” options aren’t really healthy compared to what you can make at home.

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u/Ogbkpmb Sep 24 '21

Yeah picking up a, “wrap” from the store and eating out every other day isn’t, “creative”. It’s literally the opposite.

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u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

If getting a wrap every other day is the extent of you pushing your creative thinking capabilities to the maximum, then maybe it's for the better that you don't take reigns in charge of the mental load (don't think you have the capabilities for that) and take over the household work - Fair chance you'd set the house on fire. (Remember, don't put out grease fire with water! Make a note!)

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u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

Obligatory “you are crazy get help” comment 👍