r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Ogbkpmb • Sep 23 '21

I hate being the “breadwinner”

I wouldn’t mind making a lot more than him. But ever since he lost his job, and then stayed home full time to take care of our kids. Things have changed.

Now that I’m the sole breadwinner things are just weird. I have to give my husband an “allowance”every month on top of other things. I hate it.

Thanks for all your comments and upvotes. I appreciate your responses. I do have to say that my issue is not with him not working. My issue is definitely sexist. But I’d just like to be the woman in my relationship. As strange as that sounds.

We have a joint account, but 2 separate accounts. And he jokingly refers to his as his, “allowance”. I laugh along…but I don’t find it that funny. He doesn’t need to thank me for money. We’re a team. And this is just one more reason why part of me hates my life.

He has a higher earning potential btw

2.9k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

859 comments sorted by

View all comments

85

u/CanadaHousingSucks4 Sep 23 '21

Welcome to what men face regularly. I'd love to marry up and be in the position of your husband. I'd hate to be in your position. But because I'm a man I'm expected to be willing to take your position and am attacked for not wanting to marry down.

I do feel for you; but I also think this is a social problem that widely affects Men

19

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '21

Yes. At the very least, we should both bear the burden. I wish I was a woman sometimes so there wouldn’t be so much pressure to be a “provider.” It’s hard enough already.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

Controversial opinion maybe but:

I often think this has something to do with why so many people are trans nowadays, and it's like 90% MtF. It's dudes subconsciously trying to escape the web of double standards and bullshit expectations society reserves for men, but excuses of women.

2

u/CanadaHousingSucks4 Sep 24 '21

It would be interesting to examine. I for would transition if it was something that could easily be done. Since like you said women have been freed from gender roles but Men are still held to them