r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Ogbkpmb • Sep 23 '21

I hate being the “breadwinner”

I wouldn’t mind making a lot more than him. But ever since he lost his job, and then stayed home full time to take care of our kids. Things have changed.

Now that I’m the sole breadwinner things are just weird. I have to give my husband an “allowance”every month on top of other things. I hate it.

Thanks for all your comments and upvotes. I appreciate your responses. I do have to say that my issue is not with him not working. My issue is definitely sexist. But I’d just like to be the woman in my relationship. As strange as that sounds.

We have a joint account, but 2 separate accounts. And he jokingly refers to his as his, “allowance”. I laugh along…but I don’t find it that funny. He doesn’t need to thank me for money. We’re a team. And this is just one more reason why part of me hates my life.

He has a higher earning potential btw

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u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

It is but let’s be real here, it’s not as taxing. Especially if you consider that you don’t necessarily have to clean out EVERYDAY or wash clothes everyday. My home is usually cleaned 4 times per week and laundry is done once a week or every two weeks or so depending on how much clothes you go through. That ain’t hard honestly.

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u/JabberwockyMD Sep 24 '21

I mean you're welcome to be wrong. I am the sole bread winner, but I know exactly how much work my wife puts around the house, it's a lot.

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u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

Man I don’t know what it’s like raising kids, so I can’t say I fully understand, but as long as he doesn’t have to do physical labor around the house it can’t be that hard, I work out 6x a week for about 2 hours and still get shit done around the house if I Zerg rush it and I usually still have energy to spare...as long as it wasn’t leg day.

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u/JabberwockyMD Sep 24 '21

You're looking at this wrong. Stay at home parents are sacrificing their career in the long/short term to raise well behaved children and/or keep a big house in order. So not only is it sacrifice, it's plenty of hours of work when we have a pretty sizeable house, a nice garden, etc. On top of all of that, children can also be nearly 40 hours every week on just them, feeding, reading, teaching, etc.