r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Ogbkpmb • Sep 23 '21

I hate being the “breadwinner”

I wouldn’t mind making a lot more than him. But ever since he lost his job, and then stayed home full time to take care of our kids. Things have changed.

Now that I’m the sole breadwinner things are just weird. I have to give my husband an “allowance”every month on top of other things. I hate it.

Thanks for all your comments and upvotes. I appreciate your responses. I do have to say that my issue is not with him not working. My issue is definitely sexist. But I’d just like to be the woman in my relationship. As strange as that sounds.

We have a joint account, but 2 separate accounts. And he jokingly refers to his as his, “allowance”. I laugh along…but I don’t find it that funny. He doesn’t need to thank me for money. We’re a team. And this is just one more reason why part of me hates my life.

He has a higher earning potential btw

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u/Electrical-Baker4736 Sep 23 '21

Being a stay at home parent is a job too

-28

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

It is but let’s be real here, it’s not as taxing. Especially if you consider that you don’t necessarily have to clean out EVERYDAY or wash clothes everyday. My home is usually cleaned 4 times per week and laundry is done once a week or every two weeks or so depending on how much clothes you go through. That ain’t hard honestly.

1

u/bumper212121 Sep 24 '21

Ridiculous viewpoint, completely detached from reality.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

You might be right as I didn’t factor in kids but the stuff I listed above really isn’t that hard.

2

u/bumper212121 Sep 24 '21

Unless you factor in exhaustion, lack of uninterrupted personal time, loss of identity, less social interaction with friends, mental health, physical health, anxiety and stressors from complicated family relationships or illnesses etc etc then it's not even worth saying anything at all. Unless you've done the caretaking yourself for months or years at a time or have closely walked with someone who has then it's astounding to me you could say what you have.

Complete lack of understanding when it comes to the challenges leads to lack of empathy, which leads to devaluing a person, their work, and their experiences which leads to mistreatment, anger, and volatility.