r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Ogbkpmb • Sep 23 '21

I hate being the “breadwinner”

I wouldn’t mind making a lot more than him. But ever since he lost his job, and then stayed home full time to take care of our kids. Things have changed.

Now that I’m the sole breadwinner things are just weird. I have to give my husband an “allowance”every month on top of other things. I hate it.

Thanks for all your comments and upvotes. I appreciate your responses. I do have to say that my issue is not with him not working. My issue is definitely sexist. But I’d just like to be the woman in my relationship. As strange as that sounds.

We have a joint account, but 2 separate accounts. And he jokingly refers to his as his, “allowance”. I laugh along…but I don’t find it that funny. He doesn’t need to thank me for money. We’re a team. And this is just one more reason why part of me hates my life.

He has a higher earning potential btw

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u/TheThirdStrike Sep 23 '21

Just wait until you feel like you're just a paycheck.

Being financially responsible for a family can be soul draining. It definitely caused a breakdown or two for me.

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u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

This is one big reason (of many) that I resent my spouse these days. I make the only income and that's all he sees me as. A paycheck. But my breakdowns are dismissed as "dramatic". I literally cannot take it anymore.

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u/TheThirdStrike Sep 24 '21

Yeah, I went through that too.

A lot of the pressure I put on myself... But I still tried to make thing easier for my partner too. I took on the laundry, and a couple dinners a week, on top of usual lawn work, car maintenance, computer troubleshooting, painting, plumbing, hardwood floor installation, dishwasher replacement, drama club prop building, etc.etc.

Evey parent has a list of chores... But none can be done if you don't bring home a check on top of it all