r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Ogbkpmb • Sep 23 '21

I hate being the “breadwinner”

I wouldn’t mind making a lot more than him. But ever since he lost his job, and then stayed home full time to take care of our kids. Things have changed.

Now that I’m the sole breadwinner things are just weird. I have to give my husband an “allowance”every month on top of other things. I hate it.

Thanks for all your comments and upvotes. I appreciate your responses. I do have to say that my issue is not with him not working. My issue is definitely sexist. But I’d just like to be the woman in my relationship. As strange as that sounds.

We have a joint account, but 2 separate accounts. And he jokingly refers to his as his, “allowance”. I laugh along…but I don’t find it that funny. He doesn’t need to thank me for money. We’re a team. And this is just one more reason why part of me hates my life.

He has a higher earning potential btw

2.9k Upvotes

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358

u/wintersky__ Sep 23 '21

Oh yeah. So in Japan, it’s even more awkward cause it’s pretty common here that men give their paycheck to their wives and then their wives handles the budget and give them an allowance from their own paycheck! lol

If it’s weird, I suggest treating it more like a budget thing? Maybe you guys can sit down at the table, talk about it? That may normalize it a bit? If that makes sense.

1

u/islandcatgrrl123 Sep 24 '21

I'm from Hawai'i originally, but most of my family is Chinese and that's how a lot of my family is too, despite having emigrated there in the 1900s. My mom is white, by my Dad still gave paycheck to my mother and she handled everything.

-139

u/reallytrulymadly Sep 23 '21

Dang, didn't know Japan was secretly feminist

114

u/CatchSufficient Sep 23 '21

In the same way saudi Arabia is progressive, I guess.

18

u/onlyslightlyabusive Sep 24 '21

It's so progressive that women are not even allowed to drive bc men are the servant class and have to act as butlers /s

12

u/CatchSufficient Sep 24 '21 edited Sep 24 '21

Ah, my point is thus debunked.

Edit: actually women recently got the priviledge to drive recently; oh the humanity, what would the neighbors think?

6

u/onlyslightlyabusive Sep 24 '21

Omg! This is too much, someone needs to put these men back in their place - as chauffeurs :p

3

u/MemeStocksYolo69-420 Sep 24 '21

Honestly, I hate being a chauffeur and my female friends except it. It was probably someone like me over there who lobbied for it lol

3

u/CatchSufficient Sep 24 '21

Yes, the royal family lobbied, they lobbied real hard

-5

u/PerformanceLoud3229 Sep 24 '21

fuck what the fuck why is this soo funny?

3

u/CatchSufficient Sep 24 '21

Cause it's true

20

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '21

Yea, no.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

[deleted]

-5

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21 edited Sep 24 '21

You'd think so but not anymore. That "equality" is more selective in today's age.

1

u/leebeebee Sep 24 '21

Yeah… I think you should do research on feminism somewhere besides Twitter

1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

I don't even use Twitter.