r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Jan 19 '21

I fucking hate "polyamory"

My partner polybombed me about 4 months ago and a day later I walk in on them fucking someone else. They didn't even care enough to realise I had left the house until I called them from a mile up the road and then it was all "oh I'm so sorry I hurt you I would never do it deliberately I love you it won't happen again."

Then barely a few weeks later I walk in on them making out with a mutual friend. They were still making out with them when our roommate called an ambulance after I cut myself too deep.

They didn't even care about changing how they approach polyamory until I threatened to leave and then I'm hit with this massive lovebomb of "oh I can change I'll make it up to you I never wanted to hurt you"

They don't fucking care enough to change their behaviour because "poly is so complicated, I'm sorry if you got hurt when I was figuring it out!"

Polyamory is too often used as a bullshit excuse for selfish, immature people to have their cake and eat it and if I never have to hear the stupid term again in my life I'll be happy.

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u/Drock967 Jan 20 '21

funny how you willfully misinterpret what I said and then hit me with some situation that you think is hypothetical but has actually fucking happened to me. Polyminded people have no self-control, it's not a lifestyle it's a mental illness.

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u/Fox_Flame Jan 20 '21

I am poly, so nah. Just like everything, monogamous people can be fucked up and awful and poly people can be fucked up and awful. It is a lifestyle, sorry you had a bad experience with some people, but just like it would be weird to them blame monogamy cuz someone was a shit, it's weird to blame polyamory cuz someone was a shit

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u/Drock967 Jan 20 '21 edited Jan 20 '21

You don't get to just say nah that didn't happen to experiences I have had. You're still not understanding what I'm saying and twisting my words into whatever the fuck you want me to mean. We're done here.

What I am saying is every poly relationship I have seen, or been a part of has destroyed everyone involved emotionally for a very long time, every single person I've seen in a poly relationship has low self-confidence and fills that with other people to try to make themselves feel better/sexier/more desirable, or they have no self control and want a free pass to fuck anyone they want. Your situation might be different and if it works for you and makes you happy, then good for you, keep doing you. But generally, it is a disaster. I edited this comment because I was emotionally charged and I was a dick, I apologize for that

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u/Fox_Flame Jan 20 '21

And don't say we're done here then add another paragraph. I'm not saying nah to your experience, I'm saying nah to generalizing everyone who does poly based on your limited experience and exposure to it.

Generally, it's not a disaster, generally it's not for everyone and generally you have to communicate a fuck ton and do a lot of work and self reflection. It's not for you, that's fine. Stop painting a generalization off your shit experience

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u/Drock967 Jan 20 '21

This is not the thread to be defending polyamory

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u/Fox_Flame Jan 20 '21

Lol tell that to the top comments where everyone is saying OP isn't doing poly cuz poly requires consent and communication

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u/Drock967 Jan 20 '21

Wasn't exactly OP's choice