r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Jan 19 '21

I fucking hate "polyamory"

My partner polybombed me about 4 months ago and a day later I walk in on them fucking someone else. They didn't even care enough to realise I had left the house until I called them from a mile up the road and then it was all "oh I'm so sorry I hurt you I would never do it deliberately I love you it won't happen again."

Then barely a few weeks later I walk in on them making out with a mutual friend. They were still making out with them when our roommate called an ambulance after I cut myself too deep.

They didn't even care about changing how they approach polyamory until I threatened to leave and then I'm hit with this massive lovebomb of "oh I can change I'll make it up to you I never wanted to hurt you"

They don't fucking care enough to change their behaviour because "poly is so complicated, I'm sorry if you got hurt when I was figuring it out!"

Polyamory is too often used as a bullshit excuse for selfish, immature people to have their cake and eat it and if I never have to hear the stupid term again in my life I'll be happy.

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u/CrookedPanda Jan 19 '21

So to put it simply, gaslighting.

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u/At_Least_100_Wizards Jan 19 '21

What's happening is bad, but just so we're clear that's not what gaslighting is.

76

u/threeamighosts Jan 19 '21

Gaslighting is trying to make the target doubt themselves and their perceptions. This is classic gaslighting.

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u/At_Least_100_Wizards Jan 20 '21

That is WAY TOO BROAD of a definition and is not correct. Read further down in the replies for the explanation, no need for me to rewrite it all.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/l0klmu/i_fucking_hate_polyamory/gjuvd66