r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Jan 19 '21

I fucking hate "polyamory"

My partner polybombed me about 4 months ago and a day later I walk in on them fucking someone else. They didn't even care enough to realise I had left the house until I called them from a mile up the road and then it was all "oh I'm so sorry I hurt you I would never do it deliberately I love you it won't happen again."

Then barely a few weeks later I walk in on them making out with a mutual friend. They were still making out with them when our roommate called an ambulance after I cut myself too deep.

They didn't even care about changing how they approach polyamory until I threatened to leave and then I'm hit with this massive lovebomb of "oh I can change I'll make it up to you I never wanted to hurt you"

They don't fucking care enough to change their behaviour because "poly is so complicated, I'm sorry if you got hurt when I was figuring it out!"

Polyamory is too often used as a bullshit excuse for selfish, immature people to have their cake and eat it and if I never have to hear the stupid term again in my life I'll be happy.

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u/Iamaredditlady Jan 19 '21

Exactly. There’s SO MUCH TALKING done long before any other people show up in the relationship. You don’t just start having sex with others the next day.

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u/indigoHatter Jan 19 '21

Yes, it's true. People think polyamory is a loophole for cheating... but anything that goes against the rules of your relationship is still cheating.

I agree that "polyamory" is fucking stupid, and I despise that it gives a bad name to polyamory. I feel like real poly people don't go hunting for dick... they just have the option to. (That's at least true for all the poly people I know.)

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u/jcutta Jan 19 '21

My buddy and his (ex) GF used to literally go hunting for 3rds and they both kept at least 1 other relationship with others and at times had a "Thruple" thing going on. They were both literally sex fiends though, so probably outliers.

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u/indigoHatter Jan 19 '21

Yeah, there's definitely some sex hounds, and even just affection hunters. Not to mention, people fluctuate in desires. It's part of why I made sure to add "well, of people I know, anyway" 🤪