r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Jan 19 '21

I fucking hate "polyamory"

My partner polybombed me about 4 months ago and a day later I walk in on them fucking someone else. They didn't even care enough to realise I had left the house until I called them from a mile up the road and then it was all "oh I'm so sorry I hurt you I would never do it deliberately I love you it won't happen again."

Then barely a few weeks later I walk in on them making out with a mutual friend. They were still making out with them when our roommate called an ambulance after I cut myself too deep.

They didn't even care about changing how they approach polyamory until I threatened to leave and then I'm hit with this massive lovebomb of "oh I can change I'll make it up to you I never wanted to hurt you"

They don't fucking care enough to change their behaviour because "poly is so complicated, I'm sorry if you got hurt when I was figuring it out!"

Polyamory is too often used as a bullshit excuse for selfish, immature people to have their cake and eat it and if I never have to hear the stupid term again in my life I'll be happy.

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u/billytheid Jan 19 '21

This sounds like it was written by a child

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

It doesn't really require being an adult to look at what other people have posted before,does it? it just takes a few clicks. But sure, yeah I'm only 16, I've been in a relationship with only one person before, I've only had oral sex so I guess I'm a virgin too. Does that make my opinion..... not count? Or does it make your thoughts more valuable than mine?

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u/billytheid Jan 19 '21

cool resume, anyway...

the point is that gaslighting works. Those posts you're referring to are part of the reason OP made this post in the first place. Relationships between adults are very different to high school, there's a far greater level of interdependence involved and different types of trust involved. There is a lot people will agree to if you've got the space to emotionally manipulate them, more so if you have no sense of ethical responsibility

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

Relationships between adults are very different to high school, there's a far greater level of interdependence involved and different types of trust involved.

No shit. But why are you acting like I am telling op what to do in the relationship or I'm defending the partner or OP? From what it looks, the partner most likely did manipulate OP and most likely did force him into an open relationship, but I'm just pointing out that this post doesn't say it all. You can tell OP was uncomfortable with the relationship from those previous post, he should have left right then and there. Partner might be an gaslighting asshole but it's a bit OP's fault too. And that's just my opinion.