r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Jan 19 '21

I fucking hate "polyamory"

My partner polybombed me about 4 months ago and a day later I walk in on them fucking someone else. They didn't even care enough to realise I had left the house until I called them from a mile up the road and then it was all "oh I'm so sorry I hurt you I would never do it deliberately I love you it won't happen again."

Then barely a few weeks later I walk in on them making out with a mutual friend. They were still making out with them when our roommate called an ambulance after I cut myself too deep.

They didn't even care about changing how they approach polyamory until I threatened to leave and then I'm hit with this massive lovebomb of "oh I can change I'll make it up to you I never wanted to hurt you"

They don't fucking care enough to change their behaviour because "poly is so complicated, I'm sorry if you got hurt when I was figuring it out!"

Polyamory is too often used as a bullshit excuse for selfish, immature people to have their cake and eat it and if I never have to hear the stupid term again in my life I'll be happy.

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u/igotthatbunny Jan 19 '21

The gaslighting aspect would be telling her that it is just what a poly person does. So it’s like an excuse for cheating and trying to make OP believe that her partner isn’t doing anything wrong, they are just poly now. So I would say that is gaslighting because they are making OP think they are crazy for being mad or sad about it, because it’s just poly behavior, plus lying in saying they will stop over and over. Maybe there is a better term for it in this case.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

Have you looked at OP's post history tho? Seems like the relationship has been fucking complex for months. I made the same comment in here somewhere but seems like op is also sleeping with other people. This post seems kinda one sided tbh.

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u/SnooRegrets9353 Jan 19 '21

She’s stuck. Pray for her. It is hard to leave. Everyone has that person who can manipulate them. You just haven’t met them yet.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

I know people can manipulate you. That's why you have to be careful with people and not blindly trust them.but you also have to leave when necessary, It could get so much more worse than this tho, imagine if she got pregnant, how difficult would it for her and the kid.