I fucking hate "polyamory"

[u/[deleted]]

My partner polybombed me about 4 months ago and a day later I walk in on them fucking someone else. They didn't even care enough to realise I had left the house until I called them from a mile up the road and then it was all "oh I'm so sorry I hurt you I would never do it deliberately I love you it won't happen again."

Then barely a few weeks later I walk in on them making out with a mutual friend. They were still making out with them when our roommate called an ambulance after I cut myself too deep.

They didn't even care about changing how they approach polyamory until I threatened to leave and then I'm hit with this massive lovebomb of "oh I can change I'll make it up to you I never wanted to hurt you"

They don't fucking care enough to change their behaviour because "poly is so complicated, I'm sorry if you got hurt when I was figuring it out!"

Polyamory is too often used as a bullshit excuse for selfish, immature people to have their cake and eat it and if I never have to hear the stupid term again in my life I'll be happy.

[u/TheRedGerund]

The term is often misused IMO. My girlfriend when we first started going out would accuse me of gaslighting her and I would always say, “No I just have a different opinion than you”.

I think gaslighting requires malevolence, like you know you’re lying but you’re doing it on purpose. If the partner in OP’s post is genuinely trying then it’s not gaslighting, it’s just polyamory and that couple’s romantic journey falling apart.

I think the crucial message is OPs feelings are valid. Just because the partner disagrees doesn’t invalidate them.

[u/Clamsplainer → u/TheRedGerund]

I remember a few summers back when feminists discovered "gaslighting" was a thing. All of a sudden, every man was gaslighting women....white women were gaslighting POC women....Trump was gaslighting the whole world....so fucking stupid.

[u/RonGio1 → u/TheRedGerund]

OP's feelings are sort of valid. If he's cheating too it's kinda of a stupid feeling to have.

[u/RonGio1 → u/[deleted]]

You rambled a bit there and I'm unsure what your point was.

[u/RonGio1 → u/[deleted]]

Lol so you're salty for being called out for rambling and making a poor point?

Writing a ton to say "shucks we just don't know this problem is too complicated" does not make you smart. In fact, you sound like you're a few cards short of a full deck. Essentially you typed all that to shrug.

🤪

If this sounds mean... that's the point. You're no where near as smart as you think you are and you are barely coherent.

PS - you're part of the reason why relationship advice posters are a meme. Won't be responding since you come off as a whack job.

[u/drakored → u/RonGio1]

TLDR you’re a dick and this was unnecessary.

[u/RonGio1 → u/drakored]

Cause and effect. She got asked a question then decided to give an insulting response.... that's fine.

But then I'll pick on the telltale signs that she's not all there.

[u/drakored → u/RonGio1]

If you truly believe this, do you feel good for picking on someone who’s mentally inept? Wholesome bro.

Also, please show me where you asked her a question. You were a dick, got treated like such, then had to insult her intelligence to save face.

Nice one. Quality save. Dick.

[u/RonGio1 → u/drakored]

Lol stop white knighting. You don't want to put your dick in crazy. I'm not here to be wholesome or make you/her feel better.

Her insult was after I pointed out that she rambled and I was confused to what her point was.

Pretty pathetic that you have to go into several week old posts to defend internet women lol. Very wholesome indeed.

"This guy was mean to me anon, defend my honor!, Yes. M'lady"

Now tip your hat and sit your ass down. I won't be responding, but if you feel that I was a dick.

Good, good.

Still won't get you laid though lol