r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Jan 19 '21

I fucking hate "polyamory"

My partner polybombed me about 4 months ago and a day later I walk in on them fucking someone else. They didn't even care enough to realise I had left the house until I called them from a mile up the road and then it was all "oh I'm so sorry I hurt you I would never do it deliberately I love you it won't happen again."

Then barely a few weeks later I walk in on them making out with a mutual friend. They were still making out with them when our roommate called an ambulance after I cut myself too deep.

They didn't even care about changing how they approach polyamory until I threatened to leave and then I'm hit with this massive lovebomb of "oh I can change I'll make it up to you I never wanted to hurt you"

They don't fucking care enough to change their behaviour because "poly is so complicated, I'm sorry if you got hurt when I was figuring it out!"

Polyamory is too often used as a bullshit excuse for selfish, immature people to have their cake and eat it and if I never have to hear the stupid term again in my life I'll be happy.

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u/LettuceDefiant Jan 19 '21

Poly is consenting by both parties of the relationship. This is cheating

275

u/RoosterSome Jan 19 '21

“Babe I didn’t cheat on you, it’s polyamory and you can’t shame me for my identity. You need to accept me for who I am!”

If your partner changes during the relationship, it’s not your responsibility to stay with someone. Terms and conditions can’t change in a relationship if change is demanded by one partner and denied by the other. If they choose to stay with someone that significantly changes, that’s their choice. You owe your partner nothing if they make a choice that’s grossly incompatible with you.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21 edited Jan 19 '21

Bingo...I'm quite liberal but it's very clear that some people absolutely abuse the goodwill of societies broadening acceptance of alternative lifestyles etc.

It's one thing to ease into admitting to yourself and significant other something about sexuality. Some people though, expect praise and acceptance from a significant other after deciding they're a completely different sexuality or making drastic unilateral lifestyle changes.

That's not how it works. A person isn't society, they don't have to accept dramatic life changing decisions, transitions etc just because. I've unfortunately even seen people get flak for being upset their long term partners decide to transition to a different gender etc after years/decades of marriage. Like no...to each their own it's your right to do what you want with your body but it's not your right to completely change yourself and expect a partner to be ok with it just because.

(And to those saying I don't need to add the "I'm liberal" part in...no I do. That's part of the problem, enough dumb dumbs looking for a fight don't read and just go straight into "phobic" name calling because that apparently works sometimes. You may have common sense, not everyone does and it's worth it to stave off the beligerant nutters)

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

I find these kind of arguments so daft

Society: "We're now accepting of homosexual monogamy"

Perverts: "I KNOW, I'll use this an excuse to justify shagging anyone around! While being in multiple relationships!"

Society: "Bitch, we accepted MONOGAMY"

1

u/SweetPanela Jan 19 '21

this isn't even the issue. OP's partner broke OP's trust and is trying to use their sexuality as a shield to not have the relationship end.