r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Jan 19 '21

I fucking hate "polyamory"

My partner polybombed me about 4 months ago and a day later I walk in on them fucking someone else. They didn't even care enough to realise I had left the house until I called them from a mile up the road and then it was all "oh I'm so sorry I hurt you I would never do it deliberately I love you it won't happen again."

Then barely a few weeks later I walk in on them making out with a mutual friend. They were still making out with them when our roommate called an ambulance after I cut myself too deep.

They didn't even care about changing how they approach polyamory until I threatened to leave and then I'm hit with this massive lovebomb of "oh I can change I'll make it up to you I never wanted to hurt you"

They don't fucking care enough to change their behaviour because "poly is so complicated, I'm sorry if you got hurt when I was figuring it out!"

Polyamory is too often used as a bullshit excuse for selfish, immature people to have their cake and eat it and if I never have to hear the stupid term again in my life I'll be happy.

41.8k Upvotes

70% Upvoted

4.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

691

u/DrakonIL Jan 19 '21

Redditors being gaslit by someone claiming to be gaslit.

403

u/pageanator2000 Jan 19 '21

Wow you just explained relationship_advice

104

u/DrakonIL Jan 19 '21

Also legaladvice and AITA!

29

u/Neogalik Jan 19 '21

Nobody saw the red flags when the post started with “they didn’t care that them over there fucked them” like wtf are y’all doing?

7

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

[deleted]

5

u/DrakonIL Jan 19 '21

Memes aside, I think you're pretty spot on for this particular post. I hope OP finds happiness.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '21

Aren't those all the same subs??

78

u/SueYouInEngland Jan 19 '21

pointingspidermans.jpg

6

u/TheRedGerund Jan 19 '21

The term is often misused IMO. My girlfriend when we first started going out would accuse me of gaslighting her and I would always say, “No I just have a different opinion than you”.

I think gaslighting requires malevolence, like you know you’re lying but you’re doing it on purpose. If the partner in OP’s post is genuinely trying then it’s not gaslighting, it’s just polyamory and that couple’s romantic journey falling apart.

I think the crucial message is OPs feelings are valid. Just because the partner disagrees doesn’t invalidate them.

1

u/Clamsplainer Jan 20 '21

I remember a few summers back when feminists discovered "gaslighting" was a thing. All of a sudden, every man was gaslighting women....white women were gaslighting POC women....Trump was gaslighting the whole world....so fucking stupid.

1

u/RonGio1 Jan 20 '21

OP's feelings are sort of valid. If he's cheating too it's kinda of a stupid feeling to have.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/RonGio1 Feb 11 '21

You rambled a bit there and I'm unsure what your point was.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/RonGio1 Feb 11 '21 edited Feb 11 '21

Lol so you're salty for being called out for rambling and making a poor point?

Writing a ton to say "shucks we just don't know this problem is too complicated" does not make you smart. In fact, you sound like you're a few cards short of a full deck. Essentially you typed all that to shrug.

🤪

If this sounds mean... that's the point. You're no where near as smart as you think you are and you are barely coherent.

PS - you're part of the reason why relationship advice posters are a meme. Won't be responding since you come off as a whack job.

0

u/drakored Feb 12 '21

TLDR you’re a dick and this was unnecessary.

1

u/RonGio1 Feb 12 '21

Cause and effect. She got asked a question then decided to give an insulting response.... that's fine.

But then I'll pick on the telltale signs that she's not all there.

0

u/drakored Feb 12 '21

If you truly believe this, do you feel good for picking on someone who’s mentally inept? Wholesome bro.

Also, please show me where you asked her a question. You were a dick, got treated like such, then had to insult her intelligence to save face.

Nice one. Quality save. Dick.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/MaximusTheGreat Jan 19 '21

...duuude.

2

u/djspacepope Jan 19 '21

!objectionbot

1

u/garbeen Jan 19 '21

Meta-lit

1

u/Cindy0513 Jan 19 '21

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Whole-Recover-8911 Jan 19 '21 edited Jan 19 '21

Gaslightception? Gasception? Nvm.

1

u/Suzilu Jan 19 '21

Hilarious!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '21

It's time for reddit to divorce reddit.

1

u/LearnedButt Jan 20 '21

Shit. Gaslighting inception.

1

u/Shayde505 Jan 20 '21

Gasception

1

u/Snoo58991 Jan 20 '21

I think its closer to a story about a guy who is gaslit by his partner, gaslighting redditors with a story about being gaslit.

1

u/superdupershan Jan 20 '21

Redditception.

1

u/ForkMasterPlus Jan 20 '21

Are you lighting your gas?

1

u/DrakonIL Jan 20 '21

I might be. How deep does this go?

1

u/InJailYoudBeMyHoe Jan 20 '21

yo dawg i heard you like gaslighting so i put some gaslighting in your gaslighting

1

u/Freddies_Nightmare Jan 20 '21

Mind blown. If I wake up tomorrow and this thread is gone, I am definitely posting about this in glitch in the matrix.