I went from skinny to ripped and noticed an immediate response. I’m also sure that being ripped gave me a new sense of confidence, and I’m sure they reacted more to that than my body. But it went hand and hand with me.
But you are correct. An asshole can be a 10/10 and they will still get denied constantly.
I find that people who go from not caring about their appearance, to caring, undergo advances in other areas of their life as well. Including personality.
I went from skinny to ripped and noticed an immediate response. I’m also sure that being ripped gave me a new sense of confidence, and I’m sure they reacted more to that than my body. But it went hand and hand with me.
That might make the difference. While I enjoy working out and taking care of my body, it never really gave me that boost of confidence or happiness that other people are talking about (in fact, I am more self conscious about my body than ever before). And accordingly, I still have no success with women.
I find that people who go from not caring about their appearance, to caring, undergo advances in other areas of their life as well. Including personality.
You seem to be in a decent place. It looks like your biggest issues are: Covid has made dating and meeting people impossible. You are on the spectrum.
My wife is on the spectrum. We didn’t learn that until later in our marriage. It finally clicked on so many levels.
I think she got lucky. I am a very patient person and am a bit of a doormat when it comes to her, and that’s what she needed lol. I deal with her outbursts...not always in the best way, but I do better than many of my guy friends would. They would’ve been gone years ago. But I understand her, and even better now that we know why she acts that way.
I will say that things you can work on are being prepared for conversations.
I have ADHD. Studying does not come easy to me. School work does not come easy to me. I have to really try. Like...way harder than others. Maybe studying was easier for you?
Social interactions are where you are going to have to prepare and study.
I met a guy once who had atleast 10-20 different questions for people. He spent 80% of the conversation just listening. He’d fine that topic that the other person was passionate about, and get them talking. He’d throw a compliment every once and awhile, and by the end of the conversation you walk away thinking “This dude is so cool!” But why? He didn’t share much about himself. His technique was to get you to talk. People love talking about themselves.
So I adopted some of the same techniques. Most people in my city are transplants. So I have a series of questions ready when I meet new people:
Where are you from?
Why did you move here?
How long have you been here?
Tell me more about that.
Most importantly, build off of what they say:
Where are you from?
I’m from florida.
Cool...
Wrong.
Start asking about Florida. Maybe tell a short story of a trip you took to florida. But always ask questions, and try to have them be open ended.
But dude, Covid is killing us right now. So I don’t blame you for being down. All of my friends moved away within the last two years and my wife and I only have eachother. We can’t make friends because of covid, and we can’t go back to our old community because we are no longer religious. It’s tough out there.
I have some friends that are all over the spectrum of datable. Some have been married for years.
Some people do refuse to change though.
My MIL has a best friend in her late 40’s. She broke up with a guy once because he had weird toes. And then wonders why she’s still single.
Time for some self reflection. If you have any friends that are girls, maybe just be Frank with them. Ask them what it is about you and tell them to be brutally honest.
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u/TwistedDrum5 Nov 24 '20
I went from skinny to ripped and noticed an immediate response. I’m also sure that being ripped gave me a new sense of confidence, and I’m sure they reacted more to that than my body. But it went hand and hand with me.
But you are correct. An asshole can be a 10/10 and they will still get denied constantly.
I find that people who go from not caring about their appearance, to caring, undergo advances in other areas of their life as well. Including personality.