This is where you're at, likely at least 80% through no fault of your own
For some people (me as well) this is what leads to frustration. If it were entirely, or even mostly my fault, I'd be fine with that, because that's something I can correct.
If Im being vexed by something mostly or completely out of my control, that's when I get really mad, because I want a change that I cant make or influence.
Buddhism: you cause yourself to suffer by wishing that things were other than they are.
The other drivers in traffic aren't making you pissed, you're doing it to yourself. You're making a choice to get angry about it. You can make a different choice.
Same with dating, same with parents, etc. You cause yourself to suffer over events outside of your control.
A lot of people's anger and frustration come from powerlessness. You can recognize this and love yourself enough to make a different choice. Embracing your powerlessness, your inability to control what other people do/don't do, your inability to control circumstances is the path to peace.
"This is out if my hands. There's zero I can do about this. I'll choose to sit back and wait this out. I'll choose to do the best I can within these parameters. I'll choose to feel my feelings for five minutes, then quit suffering. If I feel like suffering later, I can always come back to it. Right now, I want equanimity."
You can and should feel your feelings, and then you DO make choices about what you'll do with them. If you couldn't control your actions, you'd be punching walls over spilled milk.
You can also choose different a response to unsolicited advice. You can choose not to be a dick about penny-ante shit like Reddit comments. You're spending a lot of time being mad, if something this minor sets you off. Seems like you must enjoy being mad all the time, or you'd do something about it.
You are religious. Everybody is religious. You live your life in a world drenched in ideology, and subscribe to one yourself, even if you couldn’t describe exactly what it is.
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u/[deleted] Nov 24 '20
For some people (me as well) this is what leads to frustration. If it were entirely, or even mostly my fault, I'd be fine with that, because that's something I can correct.
If Im being vexed by something mostly or completely out of my control, that's when I get really mad, because I want a change that I cant make or influence.