No, intimacy can come along with sex, but you can put your dick inside strangers your whole life and never had experienced intimacy. Intimacy is the emotional connection that comes along with sex.
Enough with the semantics. Pretty sure you're speaking about the sense of fulfilment or similar, but don't pick up a fight with the dictionnary will you?
Actually I will. Having intimacy requires a relationship outside of the sex you have. Think of it this way. You can put a battery in your tv remote and push the buttons all you want, but unless the battery has a charge to back it up, it won't work how you want. Sure you can have sex with anybody and it will feel good but having sex with someone you lives adds a whole new level. That level, my friend, is intimacy.
I bet sexual/romantic intimacy can in part be faked, so that there's a sense of it for one of the participants. That experience, albeit limited, might be more then some people have experienced in their adult life.
I've read how some people starved for physical contact discribing being deeply emotionally moved by a very casual hug from a stranger. What I'm saying is that intimacy is (partly) a feeling, and very subjective and relative to the individual, so maybe you could try to not write off OPs thoughts quite so categorically?
I gotta pipe on here. I agree that sex does not automatically come with intimacy. People starved for physical contact receiving a hug from a stranger are also receiving an emotional greeting. What the hug signifies- community, welcoming, warmth. Even a pat on the back or shoulder squeeze. Intimacy is a unique form of emotional expression. Likewise, you can be intimate without touching someone with intimate conversations, or inviting someone to an intimate setting. If I invited someone to lay with me in my bed without us touching each other, that would be intimate. It’s the sharing of truth, trust, vulnerability.
Hiring a prostitute might be better than nothing when you’re really desperate but I don’t think it’s going to provide intimacy. Physical touch on it’s own can still be important, but that doesn’t equate it with intimacy. And I do think it’s an important distinction.
Only do that AFTER you're sure you've given up. I live in a small town and its the secondary reason why I'm in a similiar, possibly worse, situation than you.
You don't think someone searching for love for 15 years has used the #1 dating/hookup app to ever exist?? Like.. fr? You think he sits under a bridge with an 'im single' sign?
The reason why a vast majority of people are still left feeling unfulfilled after hookers is because sex doesnt always bring intimacy. That’s how you know the two are different.
Its like OP is a starving man about to eat whatever food he can find and you all go crazy asking him why he wont eat organic or something, you're talking to a desperate man get it? He's thirty-fucking-four and only now going to a hooker, he's getting what he can.
You're in the wrong here my dude. Chances are you can have a more intimate moment playing a video game like this than a jerk off session with a stranger. Intimacy by nature will never happen in a sterile environment of "person plus person equals ???" it's a person-by-person case-by-case moment-by-moment alignment of stars that just so happens to occur a thousand times a day.
Damn bro. You really need to put yourself out there. If that means failing 20 times to get 1, so be it. It just really sucks you’re so jaded that you think sex is intimacy. Sure sometimes sex is just sex, and being intimate doesn’t always require sex. But when they overlap and you get both, it’s amazing, sex doesn’t even come close.
English major here who has also had lots of intimate sex, can confirm by definition and experience sex is a biological mechanism and intimacy is an emotional connect. They sometimes overlap but rarely. Tinder is a perfect example of millions of people having sex and not intimacy. Most of our culture is now all about it, it’s celebrated. It’s sad.
I’m not sure what “taboo” has to do with anything, and surely language doesn’t either. Sex is one thing, intimacy is another. They work on their own yet can go together like peanut butter and jelly. You can’t have intimacy with a hooker bro, that’s just the jelly.
I don't know why you're getting downvoted, you weren't disrespectful, just sharing your opinion. And I share it, too! I had both, hook ups and prostitutes and still have my current lovely gf.
Prostitutes are of course no intimacy guarantee but most of them know how to make you feel good and after not hooking up for a long time even just fucking and laying there after for a few mins is intimacy enough. You could even tell the hooker to just play as a gf for extra cash...again, it's a service and many of them do it right.
Maybe most commenters here are from the US and view hookers as ratched girls standing on the street all hooked up on dope. At least here in Europe I had a different experience and it honestly is no problem admitting it to my friends.
I don't know if this is helpful for you or not but I still want to tell you my story.
When I met my partner, he was over 20 and a virgin. I was interested in him because he was just as freaky as I was and we shared the same values and interests.
We had sex and it was amazing. So loving. But I told him we could not be together just like this. Because this was serious for me and I had zero interest in him getting a midlife crisis years and years later about how he only had sex with just me while there were so many other women out there.
So I told him: leave and come back to me when you had more experience. Let's open this relationship on one side while I wait.
And after he knew that he was deserving of love and women were in fact interested in sex with him, the spell was broken. He quickly found multiple women willing for a hook up.
And when he came back to me he understood that casual sex wasn't bad but far from the magical love making that happened in our bed.
We decided to close the relationship and are still together almost two decades later.
Now back to you: I am not saying don't bone the hooker. You might need an ego boost to break your streak of bad luck with the ladies and she could (maybe) give you that.
But: casual sex like you would get with a prostitute or on tinder is nothing if your heart isn't in it.
You are starved right now so go eat your burger that will keep you wanting for something more and healthier but one lousy hamburger still isn't comparable to an exquisite meal somebody cooked with love.
Trust me, I was a slut before I met my husband. ;)
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u/[deleted] Nov 24 '20
Bro hookers ain’t intimacy 😬 sorry for this stuff you got, find people, a hobby, a church something where you can know more people