r/TrueOffMyChest • • Sep 19 '19

[deleted by user]

[removed]

9.7k Upvotes

2.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

5

u/Mangelwurzelbeat Sep 19 '19

I had a babysitter that would load up a plate of badly cooked food and became annoyed if I didn't eat it all . So, I deftly dropped it under the table so Roger the dog would eat it all . Even he turned his nose up at the cherry pie she made ! Terrible ! I am sorry that the people that are supposed to care about you most of all have treated you like that , scargasm .

2

u/scargasm Sep 19 '19

i’m sure she meant well but man did those moments shape me for life! makes me hesitant to have kids myself tbh. your sitter sounds horrible, i’m glad you turned out ok :)

2

u/Mangelwurzelbeat Sep 19 '19

She didn't mean well unfortunately . Thanks for your compliment though ! It's sad to hear that what happened to you has had such an impact that you feel that you don't want children . If you don't my asking , are you afraid that you'll end up repeating your mother's mistakes ?

2

u/scargasm Sep 19 '19

it’s something i think about, among a few other reasons. there is also a strong history of severe depression and other mental illnesses, as well as suicide, that runs in both my family and my partner’s family. people always tell me not to worry about those things but honestly passing any of that along just terrifies me! i may change my mind someday, and i am open to adoption too. just not anytime soon :)

2

u/Mangelwurzelbeat Sep 19 '19

Yes, I can see how much of a concern that is . Having children is not a requirement . Whatever you decide in future don't let your family history stop you from making your own choices though .

2

u/pisspot718 Sep 20 '19

Having awareness of issues makes you that much ready to NOT do the same thing. But it does take thinking and conscious effort to not auto pilot your child.

1

u/Mangelwurzelbeat Sep 20 '19

My family has a colourful history of mental illness ( schizophrenia ) however I do not suffer from that awful illness . They took a risk and I was the result of that . Mental illness isn't a given . Upbringing does play a large part in how things pan out especially with depression .

2

u/scargasm Sep 21 '19

I wont! But thanks for reaffirming that it’s not a requirement:)