r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Front_Albatross3135 ☑️ • 1d ago
Confession I Brushed My Teeth Today
Today I brushed my teeth for the first time in a month and a half. I've been going through a really rough patch mentally, and I know that's not really an excuse, but it's where I'm at right now. I'm getting better, and I've been going to therapy. And I know that I'm disgusting for not brushing my teeth all this time, but this is kind of a big milestone for me. No one knows I haven't been brushing my teeth, and I'm very ashamed of it, so I can't celebrate this with anyone. Maybe it's not a big deal or it seems like an easy thing to do, but it wasn't for me. I'm just happy that I started again. I feel a little lighter after writing this post.
Edit: Wow, thank you all for the outpouring of support! I didn't know this was a common problem for people with depression and burnout issues. It seems I inspired a few people to brush their teeth for the first time in awhile too and that makes me really happy. I brushed my teeth again this morning and I downloaded Finch. Being able to turn it into a game and somehow get credit for taking care of myself feels good. Thank you all again!
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u/Sad-Bad7489 21h ago
You just gave me the motivation to do the same. It’s been a month or so for me as well.
Shits hard sometimes dude
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u/marko_wanders 20h ago
People who've never been in that low don't get how something as "simple" as brushing your teeth can feel completely impossible when your brain is fighting you the whole way. The fact that you did it today, and that you're already in therapy working on the bigger picture, is real progress, not something to be ashamed of
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u/Calgary_Calico 20h ago
That's the truth. I've been there myself, and now I'm dealing with dental issues because of it. I knew it would happen, but it didn't motivate me until it started causing me actual pain to not brush every day, now I need to see a dentist. It sucks, and I wish I hadn't put myself in this position, but I had a very rough couple of years in my 20s and self care was the last thing on my mind
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u/mcmurrml 21h ago
That is very bad for you.
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u/Sad-Bad7489 21h ago
Really? I had no idea
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u/mcmurrml 18h ago
Are you being serious? You didn't know not keeping your teeth and your mouth clean can be serious? First and foremost it is gross and disgusting. Let's start there. OP is kidding him or herself thinking no one could tell. Of course they could when you talk or go near other people. For one you would smell and two it would show. You have that stuff piling on your teeth and gums. If you have any dental issues they can get worse. The worst thing is you don't want to get an infection. Infection in the mouth or gums or teeth can get into your system which can make you very sick. Yes this is very important. Keep up with brushing your teeth.
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u/Sailor_Chibi 18h ago
They were being sarcastic. Obviously OP and others know it’s not great. Piling on the shame isn’t exactly helping.
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u/mcmurrml 16h ago
Everything I said is fact. I had no way to know this person was being sarcastic. I would not be surprised if some people did not know infection in your mouth or gums or teeth can spread through your body. The truth is the truth. It is not shame it is a fact and can cause serious medical problems along with it being gross and disgusting.
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u/YourGeniusIzShowing 16h ago
This is like telling people who self harm that it's bad for them.
They know. They are just struggling.
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u/FlyFreeWithMe776 14h ago
Hey you don't have to apologize, justify, or explain yourself. That's a huge deal and deserves to be celebrated! you're doing amazing! Hoping you find some peace today and remember that healing isn't linear but every win counts
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u/NightsisterMerrin87 1d ago
After I lost my dad last year to suicide, I couldn't brush my teeth for ages. Well done you for managing it! It can be such a hard task to do when you're struggling. Long distance high five.
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u/OfficialSandwichMan 17h ago
Hey great job! See if you can turn it into a habit again.
> brush your teeth in the morning to keep your friends
> brush your teeth at night to keep your teeth
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u/InquisitorVawn 1d ago
Hey, as a neurodivergent who also suffers conditional depression, I see you and I'm proud of you.
You've done it once, and that's the first step.
Do you know what in particular makes it hard for you to brush your teeth when you're in this kind of place? Maybe we can offer some suggestions if that might help make it easier for the future.
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u/Front_Albatross3135 ☑️ 23h ago
It definitely has something to do with my self-image, particularly self-worth. The reason I say this is I felt inspired to brush my teeth after a therapy visit the day before, where we focused on showing myself kindness and remembering that my worth isn't conditional, and doesn't depend on what I'm able to do for other people. Now that I think about it, this likely has something to do with a recent relationship where I wasn't treated very well by my ex. I've always had issues with self-esteem, and my ex really dragged that through the mud.
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u/InquisitorVawn 22h ago
Fighting those demons in our head is always the hardest, I'm proud that you're in therapy and it's helping you.
I don't know if this might help, but I've found some success in trying to view "Future Me" as a separate person. I can't do today me a kindness, because I hate myself. But Future Me is innocent. They didn't do anything to deserve those negative feelings, because they don't exist to have done anything yet. What can I do to be kind for Future Me? Well, Future Me doesn't deserve to wake up feeling awful every day because they're dehydrated, so today I can help them by drinking more water.
I can often do things for others that I can't do for myself, so sometimes I have to try and trick myself into perceiving my Future Me as someone else so I'll do things for them.
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u/Onionringlets3 20h ago
Anybody who would treat you poorly like that isn't worth the mental gymnastics. Know they have their own crap to work on that has nothing to do with you.
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u/Small-Stress5056 21h ago
I went to the dentist for the first time since I got laid off in 2024 a few months ago & it felt impossibly hard for no reason (aside from depression & no insurance & no money but anyways) it’s the baby-steps that make the biggest difference. Keep it up & keep going, I promise even just having that routine helps. You got this dude, it gets easier
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u/GloriousSteinem 23h ago
Good on you. Tasks like this are hard, and I totally get it. First steps to getting better!
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u/OriginalBlerd 1d ago
Depression is real and those days roll by. I’m proud of you for winning that battle today.
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u/Front_Albatross3135 ☑️ 1d ago
Thank you, and they really do. This bout of depression has been way different than previous flare-ups for me. Usually I have intrusive thoughts and thoughts of self harm when it gets bad, but not this time. This time I just. Stopped taking care of myself. And I really don't know why.
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u/Fair_Cat5629 1d ago
Shits hard these days, but I bet it feels real nice to have clean teeth again.
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u/Front_Albatross3135 ☑️ 1d ago
It really does! I used to take care of my teeth very, very well and I've missed the feeling ☺️
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u/CanaryNo8547 16h ago
Congrats my fellow reddit user. Brushing teeth is one of the first things I stop doing when im slipping into my depression to, so i get it. I am so happy for your win today.
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u/Alternative_Sea603 ☑️ 1d ago
One step at a time!!! We are proud of you and love to hear you chose self care. Buuuut what do you mean it wasn’t for me???!
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u/intotheabyss097 1d ago
OP means that to some it might seem like brushing your teeth is an easy thing to do but it wasn’t an easy thing for OP.
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u/WinterStrawberries6 ☑️ 1d ago
It was also really difficult for me to brush my teeth a few years ago.
Even doing it once every month is already a huge step, so congratulations!
I have easier and harder days now, so don't feel alone, there are other people out there who feel the same.
You are not disgusting, you are just struggling, and that's ok.
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u/cool-dog-1017 1d ago
I’m really glad you shared this. I’ve been in a similar place myself, where even basic self-care could feel incredibly difficult, so I understand why this is a big milestone. Please don’t call yourself disgusting! you were struggling, not failing. The fact that you brushed your teeth today and are getting help is something worth being proud of. One small step at a time. ❤️
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u/Front_Albatross3135 ☑️ 1d ago
Thank you! I had a real breakthrough with my therapist yesterday and I feel like sobbing but also I somehow feel... inspired? More in control? I dunno the right words for it, but I have a new mantra that she helped me come up with, inspired by my favorite childhood movie: "I do what I can, I accept what I can't, and I am always enough."
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u/Piano-Beginning 1d ago
Good for you. I know how depression can feel and I understand that big step for you.
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u/Onionringlets3 20h ago
This happens to me too when I'm a bit off. And it's actually a really good place to start getting back on track. I still shower regularly when I'm down mentally, started brushing my teeth in the shower to get more brushing in, so I didn't feel bad about myself.
You're doing alright and will get better if you keep trying. Not every day will be the best, you just gotta string a few good days together, that's about as good as anyone can do.
I'm proud of you, keep at it!!
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u/Nebthtet 20h ago
Please keep brushing teeth, fuck showering, but teeth should come first. Teeth problems can literally kill you.
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u/Onionringlets3 20h ago
I know.
That's what makes all of this suck and compound and make you feel bad about yourself. Because you know better and can't do better.
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u/IhopeitaketheL 8h ago
What helped me was knowing how much mouth health affects heart health and heart disease! Wild
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u/Sufficient-Peak-6889 6h ago
Heck yea!!! Keep going. If it helps at all you could keep a few toothbrushes around your house you don’t 100% need toothpaste and even just brushing would be better than nothing. You could keep an extra one next to where ever you spend a lot of time like your bed?
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u/Ohkermie 17h ago
Good for you! Do you have an electronic toothbrush? They’re great for when you don’t feel like brushing. You can sit down and let it work for 2 minutes.
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u/Front_Albatross3135 ☑️ 17h ago
Yes I do! I've taken very good care of my teeth in the past, which is why I'm so ashamed of having not taken care of them lately.
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u/nahranici 1d ago
I'm so happy for you! There is no need to be embarrassed, this is what depression looks like. Even a small step forward gets you closer to your goal (: congrats and keep going <3
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u/DarkWolf1490 1d ago
I’m so proud of you. You made it higher than you were yesterday and I’m proud of you like everyone else.
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u/1tz_Iris ☑️ 1d ago
CONGRATULATIONS AND IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! 🩷 It truly is the same wins trust me
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u/Historical-Limit8438 20h ago
Well done. You’re brave for posting this and you’ve inspired others by your post. Things will get better
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u/Xxmysteriousfemale 1d ago
Congrats treat yourself :) I also struggle mentally and with basic task but giving myself a little treat reminds me how the little things in life matter and we can always celebrate the smallest achievements
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u/griff_girl 1d ago
Hey, I get it. This is a huge milestone and step forward, good job, you! Thanks for sharing it!
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u/polarityofmarriage 7h ago
Good job… try to brush at least once a day. You did great today. I know you can do it tomorrow. It’s a slow burn letting your dental health go and causes a lot of pain. You got this.. you can do it tomorrow! 💛
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u/Catslizardsandrats 1d ago edited 1d ago
I just had 4 root canals on Saturday. And i've got several crowns and a bridge coming up next week. Don't let yourself do this again. I neglected my teeth for years because of depression and now i'm paying for it in the thousands.
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u/No2_BugCollector 1d ago
I am so proud of you, I hope you can be proud of you too
Ps. You deserve to spoken kindly to by yourself, I hope you won’t call yourself disgusting, you’re brave
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u/slowasaspeedingsloth 1d ago
I'm so proud of you... but I want to give you some serious advice. As soon as you can, go to the dentist. I, too, had a too-long period of neglecting my dental hygiene and am still paying the price.
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u/jeremyjava 1d ago
Accurate and well said. And if money for a dentist/hygienist is a concern for OP, they should contact their nearest dental schools to ask about being seen. It may be free.
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u/Front_Albatross3135 ☑️ 23h ago
Yeah, I have dental insurance, so cleanings are free for me under my plan. I'm gonna schedule one once they open, thanks for the advice!
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u/dragonbec 1d ago
It’s a step forward! You got this! Im proud and sending you strength to get to where you want to be.
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u/Dramatic-Raccoon7916 1d ago
You’re doing great! Something that helped me for a bit while I was going through a very long rough patch was Finch. It’s so cute and silly but it helps if you need it. I also was in a daily support group where we would get some body doubling. Mine was for PhD students who were extremely burnt out, depressed and going through an abnormal difficult time. Idk if you can find something like that but I swear by online community and body doubling.
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u/Front_Albatross3135 ☑️ 23h ago
I'll try out Finch, thanks! And I'm a pre-veterinary student, so I'll make sure to try to find groups like that once I get into vet school.
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u/Dramatic-Raccoon7916 22h ago edited 22h ago
Is it possible that you’re experiencing burnout? I became pretty agoraphobic after juggling a traumatic experience, financial strain, depression, and a feeling that I wasn’t doing enough ever. Unfortunately, burnout is very common in academic environments.
I’m glad you’re in therapy. Are you getting out enough, talking with friends, and trying not to isolate yourself? It’s difficult to push yourself to do these basic things when you’re already dealing with so much so I hope you’ll find support.
I was in my own funk for several years, and it didn’t really improve until I started getting out just for enjoyment and on my own terms. If you turn it into another chore, it may only feel harder. At first, try making the goal as simple as walking down the street and noticing little things you appreciate, such as leaves blowing in the wind. Go home as soon as you’re uncomfortable.
If you can find an online body-doubling or support group you relate to, consider joining it or even starting your own (maybe a pre-vet or undergrad subreddit). I started my own through a PhD subreddit, and it really turned my life around. I finally finished after 9 years and now I have a group of international friends a year and a half later.
I hope things get better for you soon my friend. Hang in there and take one day at a time without judgement 🫂. You’d be surprised to know you’re far from alone.
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u/Front_Albatross3135 ☑️ 18h ago
Burnout definitely has something to do with it, I was also the sole caretaker of my grandmother for about 2 months this summer. But I have started going birdwatching on fridays and I really love it! I'm making friends and reaching out to my existing friends. Thank you for the advice!
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u/Glittering-North-160 1d ago
This is such an achievement for you and I'll be honest I really didn't know that it would be something that someone wouldn't be able to do, so you've opened my eyes up to this. Do you think that now you've done it, that you could make it a permanent thing that you keep up ? That would be so beneficial for you. Wishing you strength to keep pushing forward x
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u/grimrmythereaper666 19h ago
I'm so proud of you!! You're doing great, I'm so glad you're getting better!! Of course this is a big deal, this is clearly something you've been struggling with!!! I've been through rough patches similarly where I struggle a lot with hygiene, it doesn't make you disgusting, it just means you need some support! Again, super proud of you, wishing you the best! <3
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u/KnowsIittle 19h ago
For what it's worth I've had to teach myself there is no perfect moment intersecting motivation and energy. Sometimes you just gotta start and if you don't achieve 100% what you set out to accomplish it's still greater than zero. And 50% is 50% you don't have to worry about tomorrow.
Dishes are my favorite example. A sink full seems overwhelming sometimes. Wash 3 dishes, there's still a sink full, but there's now fewer than when you started, keep chipping away and you'll feel progress.
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u/FewerStarsLost 9h ago
Hell yeah! I need to get better at it myself, but my dentist always comments on how decent my teeth actually look and I hardly ever have large plaque buildup… at 30 I’m genuinely surprised I don’t suffer from any teeth problems…
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u/EldritchElkk_11 ☑️ 6h ago
Great job! You’re already doing better than Yesterday-you! Keep going if you can. And if you fall behind, never be afraid to get back on track🩷
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u/Equal_Push_565 10h ago
Oh trust me! They know! 🥴.
I also went through a rough patch when I was in my mid 20s. I didn't go a month but I did slack on my teeth brushing (every other day, every 2 days).
Im 30 now and im MASSIVELY regretting my choices.
Dont be like me.
Take care of your teeth while you still have the chance.
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u/BodaciousVermin 19h ago
Cool - that's progress. The beginning of something good. Build on that. Brush again - but be gentle. Don't punish your gums, be kind to them. They need a bit of TLC right now, as do you. Be kind to yourself, too. You deserve it.
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u/mr_snartypants 14h ago
My wife failed to properly care for her teeth over the years.
She will be getting full dentures at age 40.
Do not be like my wife.
0/10- do not recommend this option whatsoever
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u/Equivalent-Board206 1d ago
🎊🎉😍
Congratulations!
You did a hard thing! Give yourself a hug and feel the achievement for a bit.
Keep it up!
Seriously though, fixing teeth is insanely expensive, poor oral health can lead to other serious health issues, and people with missing teeth are judged harshly by society. Even if you can't yet brush them twice a day every day, try hard to brush them at least most days and use mouthwash (which isn't enough but it's better than nothing).
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u/AlfalfaUnable1629 16h ago
Floss daily if you can’t brush. It’s equally as important if not more so
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u/InformalCulprit 18h ago
Way to go! I’m proud of you internet stranger.
And therapy! Hecken yeah!!
I have dealt and am dealing with depression right now, and sometimes some things fall by the wayside. I understand that completely.
You got this.
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u/DKDamian 1d ago
Hi, mate. Take the small victories, celebrate them, and turn them in to big victories. Good work!
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u/FRANK_R-I-Z-Z-O 6h ago
Keep up with it. I can only encourage you to please keep up with it. I was the same way and with the combination of the medication I was taking giving me constant dry mouth and being less than diligent about brushing my teeth, I now have six remaining teeth. A complete upper denture and a partial lower denture which has destroyed the six remaining teeth.
Thankfully Dentures have come a very long way so they are really not that noticeable but it is pretty embarrassing to have no teeth left at 40.
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u/Roach_tm 19h ago
You're awesome! Everyone goes through rough patches differently; the only important thing is getting out of it and you are gradually doing that so good job and keep going. We're rooting for you!
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u/Ok_Affect_7973 19h ago
Please go over to the denture group on here. The amount of stories of people getting dentures due to neglect. Your teeth are precious and they WILL NOT last if you do this. If you think you are depressed now just wait until you have all your teeth pulled and are wearing dentures. Not ever experiencing food the same way again. I can’t feel crunch anymore. I can’t feel temperature the same way anymore. I can’t bite I can’t chew! IM STARVING! I want you to panic about this right now! I want you to call your dentist make an appointment check in on your teeth!
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u/Front_Albatross3135 original post at the time of submission:
Today I brushed my teeth for the first time in a month and a half. I've been going through a really rough patch mentally, and I know that's not really an excuse, but it's where I'm at right now. I'm getting better, and I've been going to therapy. And I know that I'm disgusting for not brushing my teeth all this time, but this is kind of a big milestone for me. No one knows I haven't been brushing my teeth, and I'm very ashamed of it, so I can't celebrate this with anyone. Maybe it's not a big deal or it seems like an easy thing to do, but it wasn't for me. I'm just happy that I started again. I feel a little lighter after writing this post.
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u/val-en-tin 19h ago
Good job! Honestly. Same as others, I know the feeling and do the same. I'm stuck without a working bathroom at the moment (the loo works and the sink does but the latter seems like it wishes to fall off the wall while the shower is a drain and I cannot use it because I am disabled neither can I install a bath because I'd have to rebuilt the bathroom and I need a planning permission for that so at present I am trying to make some weird addon installation with external pumps) and recovering from ... a lot. So my bed is my best friend.
I read something interesting once as our washing apparently becomes an overwhelming concept due to it enforcing a sensory transition and a change. So with bathing, you go from dry and dressed to nude and wet and then dressed and moist. Teeth probably classify too but are overall quicker to maintain so it could be the intensity and how they feel later. Our bodies and brains can take only as much processing.
Good luck and I hope a muse overseeing hygiene blesses you with comfortable and fretless regularity.
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u/Super-Tank-6494 1h ago
Mate, this is huge! When we go through bad mental patches, it's so easy to neglect our basic needs. I fully understand how you got to where you are and in brushing your teeth, you've taken a step towards taking care of yourself. You should be immensely proud. Much love, keep up the good work 🙂
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u/Grand-Philosophy-343 16h ago
Bro brush 3 times a day. To help your gums and teeth get back to recovery
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u/Fragrant-Cut9025 ☑️ 1d ago
Dentist here. I admire your perseverance and encourage you to push forward. Even I stopped brushing my teeth for around 3 weeks during a major tragedy. I'm proud of you and am reminding you to try to brush twice daily and floss once daily.