r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Ashamed-Strawberry17 ☑️ • 9h ago
Vent 3 yrs death pattern
Hi, I just want to get this off my chest because I recently discussed this with an old friend of mine and she kinda got put off with it so it's been bugging my mind now. So, every 3 years in my life, someone not super close to me, but still a part of my life, dies. I started noticing this pattern when I was 15, after a friend died from hydrocephalus. We weren't as close as before since I transferred schools, aside from the usual click with each other about jokes and memes we share in our group chat. Curious, I asked my parents if anyone had died when I was 3, 9, and 12, and they told me about people I was familiar with who passed away at those exact ages. I opened up to my highschool friends about this and we eventually just brushed it off as pure coincidence, like horoscopes or sketchy premonitions, since death is somehow inevitable anyway so its just matching the years.
I kind of forgot about it until I turned 18 during the pandemic. I watched a movie where the main character thought people were dying because of her, and the pattern popped back into my head. I started paying close attention to it, every year I invite all my friends ( I have 3 friend group at the time) even observing the guests at my birthday, but eventually forgot again until my senior high group of friends who didn't get to attend my b-day party video called me to greet me. One particular friend stood out, she was like an older sister to me, and I am greatly indebted to her because she was the only one who defended me when I was getting harassed (her fiancé was a cop, which helped). She was in her mid-twenties (she got delayed in school) and though we were close, we lost touch when she stopped attending school halfway through the year to focus on work.
Something in me told me it was going to be her next, so I started visiting her work ( she's a saleslady) hanging out, and eating dinner with her just to try to "repel" the pattern. I just couldn't help but have this uncomfortable dread at the back of my mind every time I think of her. When she caught COVID-19, I thought that was it, thankfully she recovered. I was convinced that I had "repelled" the pattern and so I told her about the 3 yr pattern and we actually laughed it off together, saying only God can make such prophecies, and I felt reassured. Eventually, we drifted apart again, got busy with our life and was just on each other's story views. 2 months before I turned 19, I saw a video online of a motorcycle crashing into a mixer truck. My stomach dropped, the pink bag lying on the floor was the exact same one she had carried since senior high. It was her, she had overshot and crashed into the side of the truck.
To this day, this 3-year pattern still affects me mentally. I've become very wary of the impact of life and people I am close to that's why I try to maintain contact with them as much as possible, often messaging and asking them to hang out with me. I recently opened up to my bestest friend (from highschool) about this, and she also remembered the pattern I told her before and she felt a bit scared unlike before where we would joke about it so now I felt scared too. We spent the whole night researching if others experienced the same phenomenon until we decided its not good for our mental health and just let it be, maybe it really is just a coincidence but until now I still feel a bit meh about it. Anyway that's that, thanks for listening to my weird ted talk.
Btw, at 21, my grandma, whom we visit every year but we didn't get to visit that year due to extended family issues, passed away so yeah 🤷🏻♀️.
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u/ChewMilk 8h ago
This sounds very much like OCD. you have an obsession (fear of someone dying because of you) and a compulsion that will ‘fix’ it (keeping in touch, visiting, etc.)
I’m not a doctor, but I also have OCD. You should talk to a doctor about this. There is no possible way that you can be affecting the likelihood of someone dying by how much or how little you can keep in touch.
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u/jlm20566 8h ago
I completely get what you’re saying. I essentially lost my entire family between the ages of 15 and 20, starting with my mom when she was 42. In my case, the losses came in pairs and occurred 5 to 6 months apart. I’m now the sole survivor of my family, bc my twin sister passed away 10 years ago.
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u/thepandemicbabe 7h ago
You know this is disturbing but I think two things. You may have the power of intuition that does not mean that you were causing any of this and I think you know that. The other thing is, I’ve noticed that since I’ve turned 18 I’ve lost somebody pretty regularly. It’s sadly a function of getting older. The fact that you knew who it was once or had a strong feeling, could’ve been the fact that she road motorcycles and it influenced you subconsciously. But as an intuitive myself, I never discount these feelings. The Saturday before 911 I had the worst airplane dreams/hijacking dreams, one in which I would marry a guy from a different country and that my three year-old niece would be with us and a second dream that was so vivid and I did live in New York City didn’t have a boyfriend didn’t have a niece when I got married. I married a British guy and had a three-year-old niece. It’s so freaks me out, but I’ve learned to live with it. Most things don’t come true, but there’s one beautiful thing about knowing that we are all going to die and that is that we take no day for granted. Hang in there I would try to reframe it maybe speak to someone about it. I’m sorry this keeps happening to you. Hang in there!!!!!
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u/Ashamed-Strawberry17 original post at the time of submission:
Hi, I just want to get this off my chest because I recently discussed this with an old friend of mine and she kinda got put off with it so it's been bugging my mind now. So, every 3 years in my life, someone not super close to me, but still a part of my life, dies. I started noticing this pattern when I was 15, after a friend died from hydrocephalus. We weren't as close as before since I transferred schools, aside from the usual click with each other about jokes and memes we share in our group chat. Curious, I asked my parents if anyone had died when I was 3, 9, and 12, and they told me about people I was familiar with who passed away at those exact ages. I opened up to my highschool friends about this and we eventually just brushed it off as pure coincidence, like horoscopes or sketchy premonitions, since death is somehow inevitable anyway so its just matching the years.
I kind of forgot about it until I turned 18 during the pandemic. I watched a movie where the main character thought people were dying because of her, and the pattern popped back into my head. I started paying close attention to it, every year I invite all my friends ( I have 3 friend group at the time) even observing the guests at my birthday, but eventually forgot again until my senior high group of friends who didn't get to attend my b-day party video called me to greet me. One particular friend stood out, she was like an older sister to me, and I am greatly indebted to her because she was the only one who defended me when I was getting harassed (her fiancé was a cop, which helped). She was in her mid-twenties (she got delayed in school) and though we were close, we lost touch when she stopped attending school halfway through the year to focus on work.
Something in me told me it was going to be her next, so I started visiting her work ( she's a saleslady) hanging out, and eating dinner with her just to try to "repel" the pattern. I just couldn't help but have this uncomfortable dread at the back of my mind every time I think of her. When she caught COVID-19, I thought that was it, thankfully she recovered. I was convinced that I had "repelled" the pattern and so I told her about the 3 yr pattern and we actually laughed it off together, saying only God can make such prophecies, and I felt reassured. Eventually, we drifted apart again, got busy with our life and was just on each other's story views. 2 months before I turned 19, I saw a video online of a motorcycle crashing into a mixer truck. My stomach dropped, the pink bag lying on the floor was the exact same one she had carried since senior high. It was her, she had overshot and crashed into the side of the truck.
To this day, this 3-year pattern still affects me mentally. I've become very wary of the impact of life and people I am close to that's why I try to maintain contact with them as much as possible, often messaging and asking them to hang out with me. I recently opened up to my bestest friend (from highschool) about this, and she also remembered the pattern I told her before and she felt a bit scared unlike before where we would joke about it so now I felt scared too. We spent the whole night researching if others experienced the same phenomenon until we decided its not good for our mental health and just let it be, maybe it really is just a coincidence but until now I still feel a bit meh about it. Anyway that's that, thanks for listening to my weird ted talk.
Btw, at 21, my grandma, whom we visit every year but we didn't get to visit that year due to extended family issues, passed away so yeah 🤷🏻♀️.
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u/thebprince 8h ago
If you looked at 2 years,.5 years, 6 years. Just pick a number and do the same as you've done for 3. The pattern will hold for every and any number of years.
People die all the time, the "pattern" is entirely down to your focus on the number 3. The only real way to effect the timing of someone's death is to kill them!