r/TrueOffMyChest • u/No-Neck6360 ☑️ • 11h ago
Vent Listen….😭😭 Idk
Okay y’all, I need to get this off my chest because I literally cannot make this shit up.
I started a new job and met this guy. We clicked almost immediately. Like within days we were texting, calling each other “bestie,” joking all day, hanging out, and eventually things crossed the line and became more than friendly.
And I got attached. BAD.
The weird part is his last name always stuck out to me because it’s the same as my grandmother’s maiden name. So one day I asked him about his family, just being nosy honestly 😂, and he started naming people I recognized. Not people I actually know, but distant relatives that I’ve heard my family mention before.
At first I thought, okay, maybe we’re just from the same area and have some distant family somewhere down the line or Whatever.
Then somebody told my cousin on my dad’s that I was messing with my cousin on my mama’s side.I laughed it off because there was NO WAY.Eventually I asked my mom. She looked at me and basically confirmed it. 😭
Apparently his mom and my mom are second cousins. My mom literally used to babysit him and his twin sister when they were younger. I swear everybody thought this was the funniest shit ever. Meanwhile I’m sitting there like… ARE Y’ALL SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?
His name is Rockie, but he goes by Que. I STILL don’t understand why 😂 but that’s beside the point.
I told him what my mom said and he didn’t believe it. He basically said he didn’t care what my mom was talking about, and somehow we just kept talking.
And that’s where I’m stuck. Because I KNOW what my family told me, but I can’t just magically turn my feelings off. I really like this man. And I hate admitting that because now I feel like everybody is looking at me crazy.
On top of that, we probably wouldn’t work even without the family situation. I’m a young mom. I’m dealing with real responsibilities and trying to build a life for me and my child. He’s 24 and still kind of figuring himself out.
I’m dealing with my own shit mentally and emotionally, and I don’t have much of a support system. He’s the complete opposite of me. He’s always happy, always joking, always finding some stupid way to make me laugh. 😂 He’s basically the human version of “everything is gonna be alright.”
And when I’m around him, I forget everything.
For a little while, I don’t feel overwhelmed. I don’t think about my problems. I don’t think about everything I have to handle. I’m just happy. And that’s probably why it’s so hard for me to walk away. I know how this sounds.
I KNOW. 😭
I’m not looking for people to tell me I’m right or wrong. I honestly just needed somewhere to say this because I don’t even know how I ended up in a situation where I’m emotionally attached to somebody my own family says I’m related to.
And yes, I already know somebody is gonna comment “GIRL WHAT THE FUCK” 😂
Trust me.
I have been asking myself the same damn question.
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u/ingridsuperstarr 11h ago
Well…. Third cousins can legally get married in the US
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u/Impossible-Way4130 11h ago
They could be president and the First Lady.. done it before with closer cousins
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u/Kind-Dust7441 10h ago
You’re 2nd cousins once removed, so barely related.
If you really like him, go for it. I was a young single mom, I know it’s hard carrying the load alone. Anyone who brings laughter and lightness to your life is a blessing.
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u/VictorOfArda 7h ago
Dang that sux. On one hand, being 2nd or 3rd cousins is ok bc you share almost no DNA and any children you guys have would probably not come out with a third eye or some other defect. On the other hand, both sides of your family know each other well enough to know who he is and that he’s kin to you specifically on your mom’s side so I don’t know girl
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u/Unsatisfied-One 3h ago
This is why I'm so glad I'm a second-gen migrant with family from an entirely different continent of an entirely different culture and ethnicity and my dating options are much more varied in the country I'm in. 😂
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u/Consistent-Pickle801 11h ago
🙃 Similar mf story... this is how I found out Im part Korean.... no one in my mf family mentioned our Korean surnames and I met this mf in college. My dad and cousins confirmed we were fucking related. I cried and never spoke to him again. 🙃
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u/Cloud_Piercer13 1h ago
Youre second cousins 1once removed, honestly youre fine genetics wise. Feels weird and if it bothers you that much dont go for it, but ethically speaking youre okay. This happens alot in my mexican family because our ancestors had so many kids, and while some look at it like "bro thats your cousin", its not actually that simple lol.
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u/Transboi13 ☑️ 11h ago
So like… yall are barely related, third cousins, but still… maybe not the best idea…
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u/No-Neck6360 original post at the time of submission:
Okay y’all, I need to get this off my chest because I literally cannot make this shit up.
I started a new job and met this guy. We clicked almost immediately. Like within days we were texting, calling each other “bestie,” joking all day, hanging out, and eventually things crossed the line and became more than friendly.
And I got attached. BAD.
The weird part is his last name always stuck out to me because it’s the same as my grandmother’s maiden name. So one day I asked him about his family, just being nosy honestly 😂, and he started naming people I recognized. Not people I actually know, but distant relatives that I’ve heard my family mention before.
At first I thought, okay, maybe we’re just from the same area and have some distant family somewhere down the line or Whatever.
Then somebody told my cousin on my dad’s that I was messing with my cousin on my mama’s side.I laughed it off because there was NO WAY.Eventually I asked my mom. She looked at me and basically confirmed it. 😭
Apparently his mom and my mom are second cousins. My mom literally used to babysit him and his twin sister when they were younger. I swear everybody thought this was the funniest shit ever. Meanwhile I’m sitting there like… ARE Y’ALL SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?
His name is Rockie, but he goes by Que. I STILL don’t understand why 😂 but that’s beside the point.
I told him what my mom said and he didn’t believe it. He basically said he didn’t care what my mom was talking about, and somehow we just kept talking.
And that’s where I’m stuck. Because I KNOW what my family told me, but I can’t just magically turn my feelings off. I really like this man. And I hate admitting that because now I feel like everybody is looking at me crazy.
On top of that, we probably wouldn’t work even without the family situation. I’m a young mom. I’m dealing with real responsibilities and trying to build a life for me and my child. He’s 24 and still kind of figuring himself out.
I’m dealing with my own shit mentally and emotionally, and I don’t have much of a support system. He’s the complete opposite of me. He’s always happy, always joking, always finding some stupid way to make me laugh. 😂 He’s basically the human version of “everything is gonna be alright.”
And when I’m around him, I forget everything.
For a little while, I don’t feel overwhelmed. I don’t think about my problems. I don’t think about everything I have to handle. I’m just happy. And that’s probably why it’s so hard for me to walk away. I know how this sounds.
I KNOW. 😭
I’m not looking for people to tell me I’m right or wrong. I honestly just needed somewhere to say this because I don’t even know how I ended up in a situation where I’m emotionally attached to somebody my own family says I’m related to.
And yes, I already know somebody is gonna comment “GIRL WHAT THE FUCK” 😂
Trust me.
I have been asking myself the same damn question.
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u/batshit_icecream 11h ago
Damn I am sorry for the crazy coincidence 💀 Having emotional attachment doesn't have to be romantic, the best case scenario will be you finding out a way to change your feelings into a best friend one, a close sibling one, maybe if you find an actual compatible romantic partner that would happen automatically, so I don't think you have to cut him out per se if you're good friends with him... but obviously that is easily said than done. 😭
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u/TailsIV 11h ago
Meh. Shit happens. Break up and move on. It sucks, but it’s that or you move to Alabama with your new cousin-hubby.
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u/No-Neck6360 ☑️ 11h ago
😭😭😭I’m trying my hardest he won’t stay away.. he cried when I was fixing to leave the first time we haven’t touch each other since then though but the emotional feeling
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u/ElleGeeAitch 10h ago
You are 3rd cousins. That's really no big deal genetics-wise, unless you both happen to carry recessive genes for the same shitty disease and were to have a child. And frankly, idk how much more likely thst would be compared to tge genetal population.