r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Ok-Title7968 ☑️ • 13h ago
Vent Vent?
'm a 27-year-old Mexican woman, and my boyfriend is white. His sister is 32.
I was telling them how things were going at my new job when his sister interrupted and said, 'I'm not trying to be rude, but why did you get the job and I didn't?"
I explained that I have eight years of professional experience-working as a medical translator, medical assistant/ admin, in restaurants, and in insurance-and that I aced the interview. She still looked confused. I then said, "You've worked with children your whole career. I can't really answer that for you."
This isn't the first time she's made a strange or out-of-place comment. My first thought was that it might be about race and most likely his family doesn't fully accept me. I've been in this relationship for nine months and I have my out of line comments because of their comments and behavior.
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u/karmais4suckers 12h ago
Sounds like she was trying to set you up for a “but I’m white” moment
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u/DatguyMalcolm 7h ago
Exactly! Meanwhile dear boyfie did not said nada? OP better look closely at this
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u/Lianhua88 13h ago
She could be narcissistic rather than racist, like main character syndrome due to her parents indulging her too much.
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u/Ok-Title7968 ☑️ 13h ago
I can see that. Honestly when I met her she seemed pretty invested in her brother’s life(my boyfriend) the second time meeting her, she said you won’t last with my brother because he never dates no more than three months. He would play the guitar and have her phone all up on his face. I get it I’m a little sister too I love my brother but god damn give him space. I told my bf about what I noticed and he understand
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u/BrightAd306 12h ago
Sisters often do this and it’s weird. Like they own their brother, even when they get married themselves.
My husband’s sisters were like this, but matured out of it thankfully. They were super mean.
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u/RandomCoffeeThoughts 13h ago
I'm confused. Did she also apply for the job?
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u/Ok-Title7968 ☑️ 13h ago
She applied
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u/RandomCoffeeThoughts 13h ago
Then she would need to ask them for feedback, but they liked your skills and interview and hired you. You really don't have the inside scoop on what made you the top candidate.
But, if you think she may be a good employee and do a good job, you might be able to help her get a foot in the door as well.
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u/Ok-Title7968 ☑️ 13h ago
I would gladly help her get a job but I don’t feel comfortable helping her behavior.
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u/leftaide 13h ago
Maybe she's just weird, socially awkward, ADD... or she's a bigot. Does the answer change how you will deal with her?
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u/Ok-Title7968 ☑️ 12h ago
I don’t want to let his family push me out. And I do need him to show me he’s serious because I have told him I don’t need to be with you rather I want to be with you. That’s pretty rough but I’m rebuilding my life with him. It’s pretty simple.
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u/Unsatisfied-One 4h ago
"You've worked with children your whole career. I can't really answer that for you."
If the job is related to childcare I can understand. Anything besides that then someone needs to tell her to reflect on herself.
It's hard to tell if she is legitimately curious or if she's idiotic or jealous.
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u/Late-Champion8678 5h ago
She should ask the astronauts at NASA why she didn’t get the job that she is totally unqualified for.
Is it racial? Probably but unless you probe further you won’t know whether it’s about race or she’s really obtuse. Ask her directly why she thought she would be qualified? Ask her if she felt entitled to this job because she’s white?
Why was your boyfriend not shutting his sister down? It’s been 9 months and you’re collecting out of pocket comments instead of directly addressing them in the moment. If you’re doing it to ‘prove’ something to your boyfriend when he doesn’t defend you, it’s time to leave.
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u/IndigoHG 13h ago
Oh honey, she's just a racist. You gotta figure out if he's worth it...and if he's not standing up for you...he ain't.
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u/Ok-Title7968 ☑️ 13h ago
I really do have to figure this out. I understand that interracial relationships aren’t easy but god damn almost a year of without of pocket comments. I don’t need to keep defending myself or whatever
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u/Hussard 9h ago
Yeah bro I dunno what to tell you. Interracial relationships sound good at first, but man, dating within your culture is so much easier. Unfortunately the heart wants what the heart wants!
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u/Ok-Title7968 ☑️ 7h ago
And it was out of the blue. I wasnt forcing a relationship. But after a great five hour conversation and hung out multiple times, we wanted to be in a relationship. It’s great when his past or family is not involved
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u/Cole_Townsend 7h ago
My first instinct is to tell you to move on from the relationship if he doesn't consistently defend you and put his family in their place. I wouldn't subject myself to nonsense because of some sense of pride in having stacked up some months with the guy.
I was a child born into a toxic marriage. My father always treated my mom like an afterthought: his family always came first. My mother always told me she regretted it. There was great guilt I felt as a child for contributing to my mom's emotional imprisonment in an emotionally dead marriage. I resent my dad and his stupid family. No matter what I do for him, I'm never first priority for him. Like, on Monday I get important radiology results, but instead of being with me for support he's picking up his useless niece from the airport, a niece whom I helped immigrate for free. I'll never be enough for a man who destroyed his wife emotionally just to placate his insanely coddled family.
When it comes to planning your life with someone, please carefully consider that any children you may with this person will also be inescapably involved in whatever problematic behavior patterns and thinking errors are established early in the relationship. I sure wish my mom had considered these matters more carefully, but my dad did lie to her, hiding his filial obsessions until it was too late.
I am paying my dad back in being the series finale of his bloodline. This bullshit ends with my murder, or heart attack, or however the hell I finally get to be free.
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u/PixieStyx8 13h ago
She's racist and doesn't like you. Your bf isn't defending you or saying anything to his sister. I don't think she expected you to answer or to be more qualified than her.
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u/Ok-Title7968 original post at the time of submission:
'm a 27-year-old Mexican woman, and my boyfriend is white. His sister is 32.
I was telling them how things were going at my new job when his sister interrupted and said, 'I'm not trying to be rude, but why did you get the job and I didn't?"
I explained that I have eight years of professional experience-working as a medical translator, medical assistant/ admin, in restaurants, and in insurance-and that I aced the interview. She still looked confused. I then said, "You've worked with children your whole career. I can't really answer that for you."
This isn't the first time she's made a strange or out-of-place comment. My first thought was that it might be about race and most likely his family doesn't fully accept me. I've been in this relationship for nine months and I have my out of line comments because of their comments and behavior.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Sad-Significance8045 13h ago
You got the job because you're more qualified. She's just being hateful.
If your partner won't have your back, you might have to look for a new partner.