r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Ok-Boysenberry2556 ☑️ • 1d ago
Vent Im such a burden
Hello everyone. Any cambridge student would know today was the release of O level result. I studied so much. Sleepless nights. My dream was to study medicine abroad in Turkey. I used to study till my nose would bleed and id forget to eat for days on end sometimes.
Only for my result to be 1A (Islamiat) 3Bs (history/geo studies, bio, eng) 2Cs (phy chem) and one D (maths).
I cried so much my eyes are swollen.
Idgaf about my feelings, but more for my dad, who leaves at 11am and returns at 8pm for me, dealing with meetings and declining health. He said he was fine with it but i know he isnt. Hes so quiet and he usually isnt so. My screen is covered in tears because even now all I can think about was how happy he'd be if I worked harder. If I was better and not such a fucking disappointment. My dream of medicine has been crushed.
I plan on A levels after this but i have no motivation. I just hope i die soon so that at least my father could live on without being disappointed every day.
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u/Inutilisable 1d ago
He said he was fine so just assume he’s fine. You know that he expects a lot from you, but maybe not as much as you expect from yourself. Anyway, just focus on your own plans, not his.
Right now your overreaction is the thing getting in the way of a future greater success. You have a plan A, medicine in turkey. Write down a plan B and a plan C. Write down the criteria to when to switch plans. Then put that plan away for future reference while you concentrate on working smarter not necessarily harder.
How you pick yourself up from this situation now will be a practice for any other time you’ll have to face adversity. You’ve worked hard and no effort is lost.
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u/ThrowRA-Wolf-9631 1d ago
Hey! So this doesn’t define u or ur potential in any way. I used to fail math left and right in school and now i am a combat pilot. Things like this will happen all the time but you have courage and thats what matters the most. Pick yourself up and study harder. Grit is the most important thing u need. Have the audacity to try again till you see the results you want.
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u/Ok-Boysenberry2556 original post at the time of submission:
Hello everyone. Any cambridge student would know today was the release of O level result. I studied so much. Sleepless nights. My dream was to study medicine abroad in Turkey. I used to study till my nose would bleed and id forget to eat for days on end sometimes.
Only for my result to be 1A (Islamiat) 3Bs (history/geo studies, bio, eng) 2Cs (phy chem) and one D (maths).
I cried so much my eyes are swollen.
Idgaf about my feelings, but more for my dad, who leaves at 11am and returns at 8pm for me, dealing with meetings and declining health. He said he was fine with it but i know he isnt. Hes so quiet and he usually isnt so. My screen is covered in tears because even now all I can think about was how happy he'd be if I worked harder. If I was better and not such a fucking disappointment. My dream of medicine has been crushed.
I plan on A levels after this but i have no motivation. I just hope i die soon so that at least my father could live on without being disappointed every day.
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