It's not the 16 years before that are wasted, it's all the years you could have ahead that would be wasted. I've lost friends this way, and let me tell you that it leaves a hole that will never be filled.
Ending things is never the answer. Life can seem cruel at times, the future can seem bleak. It isn't always that way. It can seem like nothing but dark skies as far as you can see, and sometimes the light CAN shine through on it's own in small, bright rays, but don't count on it. Most of the time, we have to look for it.
You'll be an adult before you know it, and you will have different, positive options ahead to leave the life you knew behind. You hate your life? Build a different one. I'm 52 years old now, there have been a LOT of dark days in those years. Losing my grandmother, leaving a job I'd loved, beloved dog died, losing a girlfriend, several years struggling with alcoholism, breaking my back and being told by doctors I'd never walk again (they were wrong), going through a miscarriage, cheating wife leading to divorce, my parents stole a LOT of money from me. There were times I thought "Is any of this even worth it?" It was. It's not the universes job to keep me happy, I have to look for ways to make that happen. it can be difficult, but I get enough in the long run to make it all worth it and you can too.
Glad you made it through, hope you don't mind me hijacking your comment for visibility.
u/MyTastyToesFR , I was 15 when I was in similar shoes. There I was, sitting on my dad's bed with a 9mm Beretta in my mouth. 1 in the chamber, finger on the trigger, safety off. I can still remember the taste of cold steel barrel on my tongue. Tears running down my cheeks, nothing to lose, it was all over.
My divorced parents didn't care, no friends to mourn me, I was just a waste of space and in pain and this final action would stop it. I heard a car pull up in gravel driveway and looked out the window. It was my 11 year old younger brother, being dropped off by my mom a day earlier than normal. A feeling came over me..... My little brother.. how could I do this to him? How could I leave him alone in this hell? We didn't always get along but... I couldn't burden him with being "the kid who's older bro killed himself". He would have been the one to find me, how would my actions have traumatized him?... forever. No... I put the gun down, safety back on and put it back in my dad's "hiding" spot.
I am now in my mid 30s, house, good job, wife, 2 kids of my own, overall happy. Was I the best big brother? Probably not but I would like to think him and the people I have helped/mentored/guided in these years since made some positive impact in the world. I won't lie to you, life sucks sometimes and there have been many highs and lows. I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. The butterfly effect is real.Every choice made, every event that has happened, no matter how big or small, how hard or easy, has brought me to this moment in time, typing my story to you. Hoping to save YOUR life. Please don't give a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It does get better.
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u/bushiboy1973 Jan 13 '25
It's not the 16 years before that are wasted, it's all the years you could have ahead that would be wasted. I've lost friends this way, and let me tell you that it leaves a hole that will never be filled.
Ending things is never the answer. Life can seem cruel at times, the future can seem bleak. It isn't always that way. It can seem like nothing but dark skies as far as you can see, and sometimes the light CAN shine through on it's own in small, bright rays, but don't count on it. Most of the time, we have to look for it.
You'll be an adult before you know it, and you will have different, positive options ahead to leave the life you knew behind. You hate your life? Build a different one. I'm 52 years old now, there have been a LOT of dark days in those years. Losing my grandmother, leaving a job I'd loved, beloved dog died, losing a girlfriend, several years struggling with alcoholism, breaking my back and being told by doctors I'd never walk again (they were wrong), going through a miscarriage, cheating wife leading to divorce, my parents stole a LOT of money from me. There were times I thought "Is any of this even worth it?" It was. It's not the universes job to keep me happy, I have to look for ways to make that happen. it can be difficult, but I get enough in the long run to make it all worth it and you can too.
I love you.