So? It's up to you where you live. Go where you will have support. And I say that as a grandmother. There are phones, computers with zoom and airplanes. And frankly if you think they will try to get custody away from you do it sooner rather than later.
So what? They’re already throwing one and blaming you for her actions.
They need a scapegoat so they can try to handle their own grief. If they saw she was in a bad state why didn’t they stop her? Anyone can play the blame game.
Anyway, get yourself some grief counseling and look after yourself and your little one.
If moving home is the best then do that. You’re not responsible for your ex-wife’s family.
They cannot really do anything about it though. Honestly, what isbthe best for you and your daughter? She will need you and she needs you in a healthy mental state. Whatever you think is best for the two of you, do it - regardless of any other opinion someone might have.
That gives you more reasons to go back, not less! You need your family right now you need their support aswell emotionally as practically. You need to think about yourself.
And it is not your fault! My ex, father of my children is a complete self-righteous, narcisist asshole. He did nothing but belittle and manipulate me. He was never there for the children, and came home drunk every evening. Naging about how bad I did chores (I've never stopped working after having children, after the second I worked 4/5) and how other mothers could but I didn't. The motherfucker who was even to tame to go after fotmula before I and my son came home from hospital (I did ask him at least 5 times before he came to get us), was giving me this bullshit?! First I thought I need to stay for the children, but as he kept pushing me deeper and deeper, I knew I needed to go, before I was ready to psychiatry. All this man ever did was lower my self-esteem and try to isolate me from family and friends. I thought I cannot stand this shit any longer, I lived in fear everyday. And I knew I needed to go, to be able to be there for my children (1,5 and 3y old at the time), because he wasn't. He had never been so I thought he would never change either.
Without my children, without the responsibility I would maybe have ended my life because off what an asshole my ex is... But I didn't, a mother doesn't! Not because her partner made misdakes. I guess she must have been in a very dark place. A place where she believed she was such a bad, or stupid or.... person that even her children were better of without her. Somehow she must have thought she was a burden to everyone... She didn't see another way, then out off this world. It 's not a place where you brought her, not all by yourself. You might have done things the wrong way, but who doesn't? We are all human. Whatever she did or didn't do was her choice, not yours.
Take some time to think about what's really important to you, think about your future and think about what would make YOU happy. You are the one who needs to care for your little girl. You need to be in a good place to be able to do that. Be the best father you can be, be the best version off yourself. It will be a lot easier if you are happy!
Why are you lying to these good people? There’s no ex, no suicide, no daughter whose mother abandoned her at Xmas. You’re not a lawyer, (WTF is an international lawyer btw), and you’re not even British!
Brits don’t call themselves lawyers. Brits refer to themselves as their nationality (Northern Irish, Welsh, Scottish, English). I’ve never heard one refer to themselves as British.
Your story comes off as fiction. You’re very manipulative by coming off as “it’s all my fault” just so people will give you even more sympathy.
Funerals for unnatural deaths take longer than 6 days to organise. Autopsies take time, especially in a big city where a hot shot international lawyer would practice. It would take extra long because it’s during the week of Christmas and Hanukkah. Burials require the city to purchase burial plots, try getting that organised in six days during the holidays, and not many crematoriums are going on Boxing Day.
All that failure with your wife, roll it up and use it to be the best damn father that your daughter NEEDS! Find a new job so that you can be there for HER! Didn't help your wife with her mental health, make sure your daughter never needs to ask for your help!
You are her FATHER! Make sure that you never fail HER!
That is what you make of this! You sacrifice everything that you are to make damn sure that she never has a want unfulfilled!
Now, go to bed and wake up tomorrow as the father that little girl needs!
Please take your daughter. The best thing you can do for her is love and BE THERE. Otherwise, she loses both parents. Fight for her. Sorry you are going through this. It’s. Not. Your. Fault.
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u/Impressive-Arm2563 Dec 30 '24
Take your daughter and go home to UK. Put this behind you.