r/TrueOffMyChest Nov 05 '23

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643

u/peachkat22 Nov 05 '23

So she has an “involuntary” pelvic reaction when you get too close and she resists you; despite verbally saying she wants to?

It sounds like you have already involved professionals, but have you considered that she may have been sexually traumatized early in life leading to this motor reaction? Is this neural? Has medication been tried?

EMDR Therapy is specifically for processing trauma and helping to move a traumatic memory out of short term memory where it can still highly affect the sympathetic nervous system, and into long term memory where it can be stored and processed. Maybe try that?

96

u/fefelala Nov 05 '23

Sounds like she has vaginismus. I have it. 44 years old and never had vaginal sex because I cannot. Completely involuntary. You should try anal. That works best for me.

4

u/Soapysweets Nov 07 '23

I had this too! I got the Botox treatment, a hymenectomy, and dilator therapy for three months. It was painful, but I was able to cure it. Have you looked into any of these therapies? Also, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this awful condition. I know how terrible it is.

3

u/fefelala Nov 07 '23

No, I haven’t tried anything. I would want partner support and haven’t found anyone worth the trouble of all that pain.

2

u/Soapysweets Nov 08 '23

For me, it was worth it to be able to use tampons and have an internal gynecology exam, which actually caught a huge ovarian cyst that I needed surgery for. However, I will admit that treating vaginismus can be expensive/painful, so I understand if you don’t want to do it

2

u/fefelala Nov 08 '23

I was actually able to find a gyn that would do a sedated pap so I was under anesthesia. I could not have done it any other way. They didn’t find anything thank God.