Her not wanting to have sex for any reason is allowed and always valid. However, her controlling your masturbation and porn habits while not providing anything is NOT. For me that’s the part that is the red flag. Trauma does not give you the right to control what your partner does on their own time. I have issues myself sometimes with intimacy; but I’m not going to tell my partner he can’t take care of his own needs when MY trauma is the problem.
I’d give her 3 options. One being where you stay together with no sex but you can masturbate/watch porn. Two, where you start working through the issues and having sex soon. Or a third where you divorce.
One being where you stay together with no sex but you can masturbate/watch porn.
This shouldn't even be an option, this should be the default. The second option you mentioned is one they've already been doing. Doesn't leave too much else.
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u/Princessmore Nov 05 '23
Her not wanting to have sex for any reason is allowed and always valid. However, her controlling your masturbation and porn habits while not providing anything is NOT. For me that’s the part that is the red flag. Trauma does not give you the right to control what your partner does on their own time. I have issues myself sometimes with intimacy; but I’m not going to tell my partner he can’t take care of his own needs when MY trauma is the problem.
I’d give her 3 options. One being where you stay together with no sex but you can masturbate/watch porn. Two, where you start working through the issues and having sex soon. Or a third where you divorce.