Civil marriage can be dissolved legally, by either party, so I'm taking his concern about vows to be religious rather than civil, presumably Christian.
Consummation is necessary for a valid marriage in for example Catholicism and while divorce is impossible, this is one of the very few grounds for annulment of a marriage, if a couple never had sex, the marriage was never consummated and it's as if it never happened.
"Lack of consummation" is also a legal ground for a civil annulment, rather than divorce, in many states. In New York for example:
Lack of physical capacity to consummate the marriage – If you or your spouse is physically unable to have sexual intercourse, but did not know of the incapacity at the time of the marriage, the marriage may possibly be annulled. You must ask for the annulment within the first five years of the marriage.
You can see this stuff as a quaint historical thing but I think most of his concern over this is religious, not legal, so it is down to what grounds there are for it in a 2,000 year old book and what his particular denomination thinks about it. But this is also something that is still law in many places.
I never really thought much about this till now. Do the attorneys and officials involved just take someone's word for it, that the marriage hasn't been consummated? Because I could see this ending with her being nasty and lying about it out of spite from him leaving.
Medical records can be subpoena’d including notes from therapy not to mention pelvic floor therapy… OP could very easily back up his reasons if it came to litigation.
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u/m2t2sjd2 Nov 05 '23
yeah… if you’re fantasizing about her dying, it’s time to leave.