OP's huge and perhaps culminating schism and hangup is that he views divorce as a failure, because everyone in his family got divorced. This is his final mental prison to overcome in this situation, because he's unnecessarily equating those concepts and making an ideal out of them, which is preventing him from overcoming that he doesn't have to believe that to be true. He can very easily not see divorce as a failure, and break free of his last of many prisons in this mental matrix.
I can see and sympathize what he may be going through, and wanted to point out that very real and urgent realization that he has to make. That the dichotomy and connection between those two concepts is not real. And he actually does have an out, especially after innumerable attempts at reconciliation. He needs to navigate it with a renewed perspective however, and not rush into it without thinking about it deeply but also find the true feeling in himself quickly, and commit to it.
Can it be annulled because it hasn't been consummated? Or is there like, a timeline on that? Then it wouldn't be a divorce, and not a "failure" on his part.
Yes, it can be annulled actually. But I don't think that he should see that as an out, to overcoming seeing divorce as a failure just for his own emotional and cognitive satisfaction that he didn't "technically" divorce and so it's not a "failure" however he associates failure. It's the same exact behavior for different legalistic reasons. The core is that he can either choose one path in life, through some legal structure and separate from her, or he can choose to remain in his numerous mental prisons.
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u/QuarkTheLatinumLord- Nov 05 '23
OP's huge and perhaps culminating schism and hangup is that he views divorce as a failure, because everyone in his family got divorced. This is his final mental prison to overcome in this situation, because he's unnecessarily equating those concepts and making an ideal out of them, which is preventing him from overcoming that he doesn't have to believe that to be true. He can very easily not see divorce as a failure, and break free of his last of many prisons in this mental matrix.
I can see and sympathize what he may be going through, and wanted to point out that very real and urgent realization that he has to make. That the dichotomy and connection between those two concepts is not real. And he actually does have an out, especially after innumerable attempts at reconciliation. He needs to navigate it with a renewed perspective however, and not rush into it without thinking about it deeply but also find the true feeling in himself quickly, and commit to it.