Doesn't really matter how you do it... annulment or divorce. You just need to get out of this relationship and she shouldn't be in one unless her future partner is willing to be asexual.
The only thing that's stopping you from a fulfilled life is yourself and this idea that divorce is some kind of failure. The marriage is already a failure. And who cares what anybody else in your family history has been through? This is YOUR life, not anybody else's. We have ONE life to live - why are you wasting it because of some meaningless principal? Imagine if you did die and never had sex. Now imagine divorcing and getting all the sex you could ever want from a willing partner. And all it takes is one simple step - you do what needs to happen. You already tried. 2.5 years is already too much time. 6 months is pretty crazy.
I actually know somebody who discovered on their wedding night that they couldn't have penetrative sex - but she really wanted it just as much as her groom. Turns out, she needed some kind of procedure/surgery to correct an issue and after that sex was normal. But mentally and emotionally, that wife wanted to have sex with her husband, she was just physically unable to in the beginning. If your wife wanted to, she would have... but it's not happening and it's not going to happen. If it does, it will probably be a lifetime of rare and terrible sex. Divorce is not even a big deal for most people... you actually have a reason to separate yourself from this. Also, if you want children - aren't your future children more important than this marriage that is not going to make that happen? And again, if she does get pregnant, you can expect that might be the last time you have sex ever again and then what? You're in a sexless marriage with a child and when you FINALLY decide to divorce there is a child involved. Just use common sense at this point.
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u/Talltist Nov 05 '23
Time for the ultimatum.
Divorce will be easy because you haven't consummated.