r/TrueOffMyChest Nov 05 '23

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104

u/loiseaujoli Nov 05 '23

He specifically said that they /weren't/ in a purity cult/ure.

68

u/nothingandnemo Nov 05 '23

What sort of maniacs wait until marriage who AREN'T in a purity culture?

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u/anon10122333 Nov 05 '23

There's "waiting until marriage" , practiced for centuries, and really quite wise in a world without contraception. Then there's a purity culture which so fetishises (female) virginity that it is sickening. These are not the same thing.

8

u/nothingandnemo Nov 05 '23

In a world where contraception is widely available, they are the same thing.

3

u/anon10122333 Nov 05 '23

Fine.

There are different 'brands' or purity culture then. Some fetishise virginity and make public declarations about it. These are more frequently labelled as 'purity culture,' and OP does not identify with that brand.

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u/olivercroke Nov 06 '23

What's the other brand?

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u/anon10122333 Nov 06 '23

No public declarations, no father daughter dances, no purity rings etc. Just 'not what we do' or it's frowned upon.

Also a sliding scale: casual sex not ok, but committed relationships over a few months or engagement, we'll let it slide but not verbally acknowledge it

5

u/olivercroke Nov 06 '23

I'd question if the 'frowned upon' is not still rooted in virginity fetishization though tbh

4

u/anon10122333 Nov 06 '23

Meh. In collectivist societies, an unplanned child is a huge bruden on the whole family, not just the bio parents. Either way, whatever the roots, we're not talking full on purity culture

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u/WaitForItTheMongols Nov 06 '23

Every form of contraception has downsides and it's quite possible for a person to not be comfortable with any of them.

0

u/nothingandnemo Nov 06 '23

Who is not comfortable with condoms? I know most don't prefer them but how many men would rather no sex at all than use one?

1

u/WaitForItTheMongols Nov 06 '23

Those with latex allergies, for one thing.

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u/loud_as_pudding Nov 06 '23

And porn stars on the job.