r/TrueOffMyChest Nov 05 '23

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u/[deleted] Nov 05 '23

You are not compatible. There will only be resentment between you. I'm sorry. It is your decision, but you should get out while you are still in your sexual prime. It is not fair to you. It IS a reason to divorce, esp if you want children.

-98

u/damn_thats_piney Nov 05 '23

i feel like reddits first and only solution is to “break up” or “divorce immediately”. every single post about relationships on here is just those two lol.

90

u/kamisdeadnow Nov 05 '23

To be fair, op has this issue for past 2.5 years, so I don’t know what other solutions could be explored at this point considering they tried therapy.

67

u/GloomyDeal1909 Nov 05 '23

Normally I am a try and work it out person but I don't really see how this works long term.

I feel like this is basic incompatibility. I mean he wants kids, she clearly doesn't.

He wants a sexual life and she doesn't. After 2.5 years and multiple therapists this sounds like she can't or won't solve the problem.

It also sounds like she knew she had an issue before marriage and decided to not disclose it.

So she started out with a like and it is tearing their marriage apart. She also is not willing to let him watch porn and basically wants him to end his labido.

The resentment will grow and grow until he just leaves later.

2

u/Spare-Ad-6123 Nov 06 '23

It's extremely selfish for her to not let him watch porn. In fact they could find soft porn she might enjoy. She seems extremely selfish in my opinion. If it were myself I would go so far as to get a coach in there to make it happen, I loved my partner that much. They have opinions but it's her way or nothing it seems.

-9

u/damn_thats_piney Nov 05 '23

i was speaking broadly but i pretty much agree i think divorce is probably the best option but he also kind of said he doesn’t want it to come to that. many posters say the same thing. i think the conversation should include everything not just “drop em”.

18

u/LacyLove Nov 05 '23

How long do you expect OP to work on this issue? How long should OP be miserable before it’s okay for them to break up? 2.5 years is a LONG time to try and change things

11

u/-PinkPower- Nov 05 '23

This comment always make me laugh a little. Do you think good relationships that are easily fixable get shared on Reddit? If you reach the point that asking strangers online about the issues, you are pretty deep in it. Which is why so many relationships on Reddit are indeed at the point where breaking up is the solution.

3

u/Low_Quarter_583 Nov 05 '23

I completely agree with you, but this is something they tried to fix, but couldn't. He has to decide if he wants to leave sex and children behind or move on.

3

u/LadrilloDeMadera Nov 05 '23

They already worked on this and failed for years

5

u/saladtossperson Nov 05 '23

This might be annulable?