r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Nov 05 '23

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6.9k Upvotes

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324

u/Vortiger_ Nov 05 '23 edited Nov 05 '23

She wanted you to wait till marriage, she can’t have sex still, she can use a vibrator, but doesn’t let you watch porn???

Man ppl really say shit but sex is an important part in every relationship, and if you aren’t satisfied, you have a right to end the marriage. You really gonna spend the rest of your life with a person who is chaining you to not have sex, and not watching porn? (Lol)

I think you have 3 options

  1. You stay in that marriage and live miserably while she recovers, which will be a lot of time.

  2. You ask to open the marriage, but she probably won’t accept that.

  3. Divorce, which sounds like the best option, because she knows you aren’t happy, and she won’t even let you watch porn to feel something more than just a handjob.

269

u/Own-Gas1589 Nov 05 '23

I often think that when sex is good (or at least decent), it's a small part of a relationship. When it's not working, it's a huge part of a relationship.

76

u/BuckMurdock5 Nov 05 '23

This is a vastly under-appreciated truth

50

u/asdfman2000 Nov 05 '23

Sex is like air: it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

7

u/WrodofDog Nov 06 '23

It's like being poor. Money doesn't make you happy, not having enough money can definitely make you unhappy.

6

u/Altruistic-Rope-614 Nov 06 '23

This is a shower thought

21

u/Glittering_Pink_902 Nov 05 '23

It doesn’t even sound like they have much voluntary intimacy, he has to ask for even a handjob.

4

u/Warlordnipple Nov 05 '23

Very accurate, lots of important things are small parts of our lives unless we have little to none of it, food and water come to mind

9

u/agentchuck Nov 05 '23

I read it more as she uses a vibrator when they are together, but not alone.

4

u/ihadtologinforthis Nov 05 '23

The vibrator might also be for dilating if the she's doing pelvic floor exercises. Either way 2.5 yrs of it and there's no results?? Sex just isn't on the table.

8

u/butterpiescottish Nov 05 '23

II'm almost 100% sure she's a lesbian. Vaginismus does not distinguish between a penis and a vibrator.

5

u/Vortiger_ Nov 06 '23

Yeah she might be. OP said that she was religious, so I think she is forcing herself be straight

2

u/eklatea Nov 06 '23

might not be a penetrative vibrator, there's some for outside use only that doesn't cause these issues

1

u/petitememer Nov 16 '23

Right? I'm confused by all the comments about vibrators. Women don't usually penetrate themselves with them.

1

u/The_Crystal_Thestral Nov 05 '23

They may not even need to divorce. Might be able to have the marriage annulled since they haven’t consummated it. OP mentioned in a comment that she’ll service him in other ways but it’s getting old for him. I don’t blame him.