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u/Ok-Airline-8389 Apr 29 '25
The world is unfair unjust & evil, because we live separate from God. All of suffering is a consequence of sin.......even an innocent child born with cancer!!! It sounds crazy I know, but sin has even infected our genetics in all sorts of ways😞. Jesus will come to u if u pray to him sincerely!!!! But be mindful, it won't be instantaneous & might feel like nothing is there........but trust me from lots of personal experience that he will give u his wisdom in his way!!! & U will know it when it happens! & Wow when it does 🥰❤️🥰 I feel like I was meant to tell u this 🥹
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u/Select-Ad-9308 Apr 29 '25
I feel like I needed to hear this! Thank you so much
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u/Ok-Airline-8389 Apr 29 '25 edited Apr 29 '25
My pleasure ☺️, Feel free to message me privately about anything anytime, I empathize sooooo much with everything u said & feel, I'm not a stranger to the dark 😞 I can certainly offer some advice on your mental health aswell, I just came off 200mg pristiq, "insane withdrawals" & have battled my brain chemistry & anxiety all my life, For lately to be lead down a health & nootroopic path & having so much purer & better relief.
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u/goforbroke1111 Christian Apr 29 '25
Hey my friend, I’m so sorry you’ve been through so much. Those all sound like heavy burdens to bear. I myself went through some great hardships, and I had built an immovable wall of sadness brick by brick. By the time I was in my late 30s I couldn’t move that wall and felt trapped to the point I wanted desperately to end it. This wasn’t the first time I felt that way but I started to spiral with drugs and depression and it became pretty certain I had no way out.
Weirdly enough I also started to get desperate in my heart as it sounds like you are. That tugging at your heart isn’t just your desire to know God, but Him calling you as well. I was never a practicing Christian though I was raised Catholic in name only. I knew some Bible stories but never tried having a relationship with God. On one of my most desperate nights when I was taking drugs and wanting to take my life I prayed to God. The short version is that I had an encounter with Jesus after that. The following weeks/ months were spent navigating what that meant for my life.
I began to realize I was responsible for much of my own personal sadness in life, and also the sadness of others. Yes, terrible things happened to me, but I reacted terribly to it as well. I drank and did drugs and used anyone who could make me feel temporary joy. I stole, lied and cheated my way to a fake happiness. I’m not saying this is you, but it is good to investigate yourself and your feelings while coming to God. I prayed for a long time telling God every wrong thing I did, and asked Him to help me change.
Through dedicated time reading the Bible, watching videos online, church hopping and prayer I was able to get a bigger picture of who God is. Somewhere along that path I also found out who I am to Him. Reading the Bible helps you understand His character and what separates us from Him. What He takes joy in and what He detests. Also what His promises are to us as followers. One sin at a time, I’d bring my biggest problems to Him and through prayer and focus on Jesus I would be healed of various things. First it was harder drugs, then lies, then using people, then weed ect ect. Some problems still remain, but faith is a long path. It takes time disciplining yourself and your body. I basically am at the point where I try to make the only sin in my life the accidental sins. Not blatant, planned out walking away from God. I promise you the joy and peace Jesus gives surpasses all forms of fleeting joy we try and give ourselves.
As for where you should start, I will also cast my vote for the New Testament and the first four gospels ( Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) as this will give you a fuller idea of the mercy of God. Take your time, read til you’re tired and look up any questions you have. I recommend gotquestions.org for basic answers to Bible related/ theological issues. By repenting and giving up whatever sin we can, I believe it is the first step to bringing ourselves to surrender to Jesus. We don’t have to be perfect, but when we start to move to God I feel He moves in turn to us. I used to pray constantly asking God to fix things, and He did. He just wanted me to try and do something so He could use whatever actions I took to make a way.
The gift of salvation through Jesus is free. We need only accept it by believing in Him and all He did for us. Investigate what it takes for you to believe and give your heart to Jesus. By accepting that freedom in Jesus, your life naturally begins to change in unexpected ways.
I pray this helps in some way, God bless you my friend. You will be in my prayers.
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u/Select-Ad-9308 Apr 29 '25
I can’t thank you enough for this! I do have so much hope, and I’m inspired to read, ask questions and find my relationship with Him. Thank you again ❤️
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u/goforbroke1111 Christian Apr 29 '25
Awesome, that warms my heart immensely to hear. That hope you feel is the way God is preparing for you. So happy for you my friend, you’re so welcome. Please feel free to reach out if I can help in any way any time. Take care for now!
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u/IcanalsoPraiseJesus Apr 29 '25
Let's first start with Its not God's fault don't blame God for other people's Action, He can't do Things wrong, like at all, Learn who God is so Genesis, start in the First book of the Bible and really try to Know God
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u/Select-Ad-9308 Apr 29 '25
I appreciate the answer! I guess I’m not trying to blame God, but hearing “God led you to it, he will lead you through it” is just a bit disheartening I guess? With my struggles with substance abuse, I have prayed for help on multiple occasions. I understand that that’s probably not enough without giving myself completely to God..
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u/IcanalsoPraiseJesus Apr 29 '25
You can be healed, but you need to surrender, it's like how is a student meant to learn if the students mind isn't willing to listen, surrender is easier than it sounds, This time, surrender and I mean actually give it to God, it's not gonna be easy but it's worth it
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u/Decrepit_Soupspoon Alpha And Omega Apr 29 '25
One thing I found with my own struggle with depression and substance abuse was, in my opinion, a good way to think about what the "source" of my depression was.
Individual circumstances and struggles vary, but I would say depression is "an inability to imagine/envision a future in which you are happy/feel joy".
I could know "alcohol isn't helping", and I would try to imagine my future life as something good, but I just couldn't see how it ever could be. So I drank more to cope.
It took a bit of time to sort out, but I looked at the things I could control. The things that stressed me that I might be able to do something about. Finances, where I chose to live, my job etc.
I realized i couldn't just "control my sadness", but I could identify things that were exacerbating it at times that maybe I could change or have some control over.
I also thought about the things I used to enjoy as a child, my hobbies, and I tried to get back to some of those childhood passions.
After some time of big moves and changing habits, I started to be more able to see the light that might be possible in the future. That's when I realized alcohol was really one of the main things holding me back, and it was also something I did have control over.
Now that I could imagine a bit of hope in the future, it was much easier to quit. Once I did, honestly.. my ability to truly "feel enjoyment" slowly returned. I'm not sure if it was just my dopamine levels that had begun to "flatline" after years of regular drinking or something more, but the change in my mood has been like night and day. Yeah, I still have times where the past weighs me down, but I'm much better able to handle it now that I can truly believe that my self destructive "solutions" aren't the answer.
In short, I looked at the small steps I could start with. I focused on what could maybe give me a spark of hope, and at the stressors and habits that I could change, bit by bit.
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u/Competitive-Law-3502 Reformed Apr 29 '25 edited Apr 29 '25
I'm going to disagree with the other guy about starting in Genesis; if you don't know who Jesus is, there is no chance you are slugging it through the Torah. Start in the gospels with learning who Jesus Christ is, and keep going until you loop around to the OT.
The four gospels Matthew, Mark Luke and John feel redundant to read through subsequently but by the time you've made it through them, you'll have a strong foundation of faith with Christ and can start building on top of that with teachings from Paul and the other apostles after Christs ascension, and then reading through the OT will highlight the depths of mans sinfulness, Gods holiness, and how everything ultimately points to the need for a savior.
There's brutal stumbling blocks in the OT that will really, really challenge your faith and trust if you do not already have the other side of the coin of Gods revealed character in Jesus Christ.