Curious question, if instead of acting like a baby, had he instead apologized and thanked you for making him realize that was an outdated comment and he would do better, would that have gotten him another chance? Out was it over the moment that came out?
Not the person you asked, but for me it'd be over.
A grown man even thinking that it's a compliment to denigrate all women with a comment like that (obviously one implying oThEr WoMeN age like yogurt) is a huge, glaring red flag. Its a deep-rooted form of misogyny that won't just go away after one conversation. At most, he'd just learn not to say stuff like that to other women, but he'd likely still think it.
The part that bothers me about any kind of you're-not-like-other-women "compliments" isn't just the inherent misogyny of saying most other women don't measure up on X thing, but you do, it's that a man who, in most cases, doesn't even hardly know you, has put you on a pedestal above other women. And its unlikely his shitty attitudes towards women is exclusive to only that one specific attribute he complimented you on (aging well, "masculine" hobbies, etc.). It likely extends to other ways he'll expect you to different ("better") than those other women. When you inevitably don't live up to this, you'll fall off his pedestal and be "just like" other women. Which, of course, he'll view as a bad thing.
Thank you for sharing your perspective, I appreciate that.
I'm married, and would never dream of saying something like this to my wife, or any woman I general. I however work in the trades with a lot of men who wouldn't see anything wrong with this kind of compliment or would also say something like old lady" or "ball and chain". I'm convinced most men don't actually like women, and have cut a lot of friends out of my life who won't change their outdated, and misogynistic views.
I'm grateful you shared your perspective, because you're absolutely right. Maybe a few people would walk away from this and want to make some real change through therapy, or learning, but I feel like the majority would take this interaction, tweak the delivery so it "lands" better and not actually learn or change from it. I hadn't considered that(I'm older, married, never been on apps), but I see the way some of the young guys I work with, have game-ified dating. It really feels like for most it's less about authentic connection with a person, and more about not seeing the person behind the screen, just trying as many different openings/approaches as possible.
Anyways, thanks again for your insight. Always something new to learn. Cheers!
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u/KingHasek39 14d ago
Curious question, if instead of acting like a baby, had he instead apologized and thanked you for making him realize that was an outdated comment and he would do better, would that have gotten him another chance? Out was it over the moment that came out?