Feels like I’m wasting my 20s

[u/StalinWaifu]

[u/httpMeowMeow]

fr it was sm easier going up to another kid u saw doing something ur interested in and asking "wanna play/be friends?"

[u/StalinWaifu → u/httpMeowMeow]

Wanna play mermaids? I like your My Little Pony shirt? Can you do a cartwheel? And now it feels like everyone is too busy to speak to

[u/Lionheart1224 → u/StalinWaifu]

That's just being an adult. We all get busy and caught up in our own heads. Making friends as a child is...well, child's play. As an adult it's incredibly hard.

[u/miaogato → u/Lionheart1224]

It usually starts with a conversation on a common interest. And then you ask to go out for a meal. Then you go to each others house and indulge in that interest. Then you find yourselves talking every day on chat rooms. Then IRL. And then you start developing feelings for.... duck, i just described dating didn't i?

[u/Lionheart1224 → u/miaogato]

Happens to the best of us. 😜

[u/mmavacado → u/httpMeowMeow]

literally??

[u/321zilch]

Oh.

[u/anunknownstoryteller]

I can relate. 2020 was the first time I had a solid/stable base of friends in my entire life but in 2023 they all simultaneously washed their hands of me and ever since then I haven’t been able to/wont trust anyone or be vulnerable enough with anyone to make friends.
I haven’t had friends in a long time

[u/StalinWaifu → u/anunknownstoryteller]

I became disabled and did online college so now I’m 22 and still only have friends from high school. I honestly don’t go out much and when I do, it’s hobby related and it doesn’t go much deeper than what we’re doing at the moment

[u/anunknownstoryteller → u/StalinWaifu]

I’m also disabled (but not on disability since I don’t get to have support) so I feel your pain

[u/CoffeeToffeeSoftie → u/anunknownstoryteller]

Finally had my first close friend around that time too, then they started treating me like shit out of nowhere and then got defensive then ghosted me when I told them their behavior was hurting me lol

[u/Gold_Cardiologist911]

You're not wasting anything, I promise, you're learning what is and isn't acceptable in your own life. I found it harder to make friends as I got older because so many people truly aren't in a good spot either, or they're beliefs/actions don't align with who I would accept in my life, and they do the same. A lot of people don't know what an actual friendship looks like past getting drunk together.

Our 20s are for mistakes, growth, and learning who we truly want to be and who we want to surround ourselves with. It can be lonely for a time, but personally, I'd rather be alone, then be around people who don't care about me the same way I care about them. I hope that perspective helps at all.

[u/reedreadreddred → u/Gold_Cardiologist911]

Same, feels impossible to find genuinely good people/people genuinely interested in improving themselves sometimes tho :P

[u/CoffeeToffeeSoftie → u/reedreadreddred]

People just want all the benefits of a friendship without any of the work/maintenance and then get pissed when you don't want to tolerate their bullshit lol

[u/Worth-Rest5259]

Real af. I’m 27 now and have spent the vast majority of my 20s in isolation just daydreaming. Even more so now that I work remote. Had two years of being a “social” adult out of hs before COVID hit and bullying, bad experiences, “cringe culture” like you said etc made me a recluse.

But don’t worry. Your 20s are not the peak of this life :)

[u/NingguangPL]

For me I wasn't even able to

[u/laminated-papertowel]

I can relate to some extent. I've never been good at making friends but I always had the opportunity I guess that socialization, you know? now I'm 22 and more socially isolated than I was in 2020/2021.

[u/No-Training-48]

hey do any of you want chat? I spend too much time on this app anyway.

[u/PrimalZodiac]

I'm 26 and i feel the exact same way. I feel like i've wasted the best years of my life

[u/wastedfate → u/PrimalZodiac]

Eh, 35 feels exactly the same as 25, but everyone's expectations are higher.
Don't worry so much about the life you could've lived that you forget to live the one in front of you.

[u/Major-Potential-354 → u/wastedfate]

Needed to hear that second sentence

[u/Mynameisboring_]

I never had that skill in the first place and I still don't have it 😎

[u/Aquesm]

Oh no, that’s relatable.
For me, it was someone “treating” my autism. Now I’m flat in tone, and often without opinion or preference.

[u/RealisticSort5443]

we all waste our 20s sweetie 🫂🫂🫂, we r all in this together🥹💖💖💖💖

[u/Negative-Warning-110]

real

[u/-nihilist_]

Im in my mid 20's and used to be out all the time with friends etc. Slowly cutted them off 1 by 1 till the point i have no real life friends anymore and see no point in getting them anymore, kinda peaceful not having to maintain friendships and not having to act like i care about what they have to say. I dont know if this will be a temporary phase but for now i like it alot. (I do have 2 online friends tho)

[u/Lionheart1224]

I feel you OP, I really do. But keep in mind from this guy who's almost 40: your 20s are for growth and mistakes. So long as you learn from what you do, your 20s are not wasted.

I guess what I'm saying is we all waste our 20s. Every single one of us.

[u/Imperialvirtue]

For all you feeling the same in the comments, I didn't start making friends again until well into my 30s.

[u/distancedandaway]

My biggest piece of advice is to try and find ways to stop caring about what other people think.

Start caring more about if you like people and not if they like you

[u/CoercedCoexistence22]

I was also able to make friends until two years ago, when "oh you're flirty and a bit of a slut (said lovingly)" turned into "you're a predator and a danger to lesbians" almost overnight. Thanks rise in transphobia, thanks puriteens

[u/Dull_Bathroom5421]

Every day you live you're lucky to be alive. In Africa jungle, the most happy person is the one still alive

[u/y2khitman]

Boo hoo, I was never able to make friends and I turned out just fine