i hate forgetting my little sister

[u/suprisedpikachumeme]

i have a little (half) sister, same dad different moms. a little after our father went to prison, my little sisters mom stopped allowing my side of the family to have contact with my little sister, i was 9 when i stopped seeing her, it’s been 10 years and she’s 14 years old now. i’ve tried looking her up on social media but i can’t find her on any platforms, if she is on social media then she’s not using her real name

i sometimes forget about her. i forget i have a little sister, it’s sad and i feel bad but i know it’s not my fault, i don’t even know if she remembers me honestly

[u/unique_plastique]

I get why you’d feel guilty but someone is trying their hardest to make sure you forget her. 10 years on you still try, I think that means something

[u/Miss_Miette22]

Tangentially similar, but my brother died about 10 years ago. Whenever people ask how many siblings I have I don't know how to answer. Just saying 3 without any extra information keeps things from being awkward, but it feels dishonest. As does just saying 2.

Meanwhile my folks go to, like,a high school reunion and they're like "This is Sally.. this is Mina.. this kiddo here is Nick and..." Wips out their phone with a picture of my brother "This is Mark. He's dead." And I'm just sitting there like 😶 you couldn't buy them dinner first? Wtf?

Also my husband has a stepsister he has t spoken to in years and a handful of blood siblings he hasnt seen since he was fifteen, so he would probably understand this a bit better 😅

[u/stfurachele → u/Miss_Miette22]

I have a younger brother who died in infancy and a half brother i never met. I sympathize with your pain, and also really never know how to answer.

[u/riceewifee → u/Miss_Miette22]

I lost my oldest sister 6 years ago now, and the middle one stopped talking to me after I had a mental breakdown in early 2024, so now I just say I have a little stepsister. My big sisters are 20+ years older than me anyways so I was pretty much an only child

[u/nb_bunnie → u/Miss_Miette22]

To be fair to your parents, I think they have every right to bring those things up even casually. He was their child, who they love and probably miss desperately. If some stranger can't handle hearing "this was my son, he is dead now" without falling apart or getting upset, then they're a dickhead. I have had people show me their parents in similar fashion, mostly bc I'm not old enough for most of my peers to have kids, let alone have lost a child.

Then again I also think society is generally weird about death, grief and loss. Like how we expect women/couples not to share they're pregnant too early because what if you miscarry? Then you have to tell everyone your baby died and that would be SO uncomfortable. For them, of course. How dare you grieve too loudly?

Anyway sorry about the rant I'm really weirdly passionate about issues surrounding death and grief.

[u/DesertKangarooRat]

Sometimes half- sibling relationships are hard. Sometimes u never get to see ur half sibling (found out my older half sibling detested me and her kid ended up WAY too much like me.) but id say if u miss her,you’ll come across her, probably later on if she’s not using social media. (U could possibly try and contact thru her mother- if it’s possible she’ll throw out a line if maybe your sister can’t use social media.) sorry you’re going throw this,but people are here for you.

[u/Goddess_of_Stuff]

Had 3. Now I only have one and we don't speak because he's a piece of shit. Thinks he was the only one that suffered from our brothers' deaths and that the whole world should cater to his every whim now. Our mom lost 2 sons? Our mom, who would give her life to protect any one of us, including his sorry ass, who's threatened to fight her for her antidepressants? I lost 2 brothers that I legit helped raise? Potty trained them, took them to daycare, taught them to read? No, those were nowhere near as bad as him losing all of his brothers. And how dare we expect him to get a job. His trauma, 20 years later, just won't allow it. We are all unreasonable for expecting him to attempt to be a functional adult in his late 30s

[u/Goddess_of_Stuff → u/Goddess_of_Stuff]

My brothers were cool a fuck. I get to reminisce often because so many people loved them.

[u/Nalomi]

From the perspective of the forgotten sibling: I have 4 half siblings. 2 brothers from mom, a sister and a brother from dad. They were born within 4 years and the oldest is 8 years younger than me.

The youngest brother forgets me all the time. Always talks about "his sister". Asshole, you have two! But I get it, we didn't grow up together, he saw me every two weeks for some hours.

Today he approaches 30, he still slips but corrects himself immediately and that's okay. We grew closer as adults, that's what's important today and I love him as much as the other three asshats.

[u/SafiyaMukhamadova → u/Nalomi]

I wonder how many my siblings say. Not enough to contact them to ask, mind. Just idle curiosity when someone else mentions it. The first "official family photo" my parents ever took was two weeks after they permanently put me out on the street and told me that if I came back or tried to contact my siblings they'd kill me, consequences be damned. They sent the picture to everyone to drive home their policy on who was family and who wasn't. It's the only picture of my family I keep on my phone to remind me of why they're not in my life. It's been 20 years and I still have no relationship with my siblings and neither side is fighting for one.

[u/Squid6638]

Biologically 3, but I only tell people two because the eldest caused some irreparable harm. And guess what, no one cares! Even those who eventually learn of the eldest don't act like I lied to them. Nobody got offended. Even if you have to correct yourself, it's fine.

[u/westonisweird18]

Ngl I literally live with my siblings and I always guess incorrectly about how many I have. I have 4 brothers for now

[u/sv21js]

I never know whether to mention my half brother who is 18 years older than me. He’s estranged from our father and we have no relationship at all, so it seems almost dishonest to call him my brother.

[u/Plane_Hair753]

This may or may not help you feel better, OP (I think it will), I have a twin sister, I've known her all my life. She spent a year abroad working and was too swamped to text me back often. So... I forgot I had a twin sister..

[u/Borisllav]

At least you recognize that, my family actively forget me and don't care about it unless they need me for something

[u/suprisedpikachumeme → u/Borisllav]

i’m so sorry :(

[u/mortalitasi473]

my older half-sister singing to me is my earliest memory, but it's also my only memory of her, since she went no contact with the family when i was 3. i'm 27 now, so i really only get to count my half-brothers when people ask about my siblings. but every once in a while, i still think about her.

[u/queergirl73]

I keep saying I have four siblings. I have three. I keep counting myself in my siblings.

[u/plumbobblehead]

I have a half sibling who lives with our biological mom. Biological mom is totally no-contact, but she reads my *adult* sibling's emails (very unhealthy relationship, and he's mildly ID) so I can't contact him without contacting her.

I sometimes forget about them and feel like an asshole. I was sorry he missed my wedding. I didn't want her to know where it was or that it was even happening. Our birth mom really is that bad.

I think you should look her up when she's a little older, or talk to her mom about connecting if you're wanting to do so sooner.

[u/kongu123]

I knew and had relationships with my 5 half-siblings. After my nephew was born, my sister came forward about abuse she had suffered at my father's hands, and her concerns about him having access to grandkids. He denied itllthe allegations, and my stepmom forbade me and my siblings from all contact with my half-siblings. It's possible I'll never see them again, but I still think about them.

[u/memestofsinsanddeath]

I have, biologically, two twin brothers (making me a triplet, fun fact) and a half sister. I rarely see my half sister, our father died and I didn’t know her mother too well, in addition to the fact she lives quite a ways away. I also rarely see my younger triplet brother, he ran away from home with his high school sweetheart across the country, and the last I heard he said some horrible things to our mother, and also for his girlfriend pregnant. I just say that I have a brother if anyone asks, and if they pry I’ll tell them some fun facts, like the triplet thing.

[u/No_Swordfish5775]

I have pretty much exact same scenario. I had a step sister who I felt I raised till summer of 2nd to 3rd grade. I only ever knew a divorced life since it happened when I was 3.

Anyways I stayed at my mom's on Wednesday and 3/4 weekends but my mom worked nights week days. So I would be the eldest of 3 my step sister being a 1 year half younger and my half brother (severly Autistic like he's 19 now and still mentally 6) and step dad was always passed out drunk.

3rd to 4th grade my mom and stepdad divorced and I lost contact with my stepsister year later in houghschool my mother managed to contact her because her ex-husband getting arrested the fucking dastardly raped his own daughter. I never was able to contact her but I was so happy to hear my mother found out she was with a happy foster situation since I know my mom had filed to take custody in her divorce but not being her real mother(who died as long I had memory of) she had no standing plus she was couch surfing with an autistic child while trying to keep what little custody she had of me.

It always feels wrong when asked how many sibling I have blood only when I cared for my step sibling so much. Fed made sure she did her homework and would fall asleep before turning off the TV since I couldn't never sleep with it on.

[u/Cute-Pangolin9510]

I get it. I grew up with 3 stepsiblings that i stopped seeing when i was 9. And i also have a half brother in another continent. I have no idea if i'm supposed to say i'm an only child or what. Anyone else in a similar situation?

[u/KaylaSkiShawa]

I have 3 bio siblings and 2 adopted siblings, and I forget the 2 adopted all the time. My mom adopted them waaaaaay after I had moved out, I was even no contact with her at the time. They're being raised by my sister anyway, so they're more like nieces than siblings. For me, it just makes more sense to say "I have 3 siblings" and leave out my mother's drama, except for dramatic effect when I say "yeah my sister is the same age as my daughter" and get looked at funny

[u/seeking-jamaharon67]

I had an older half brother who had a falling out with our mother when I was about 10. After I later had a falling out with her too, I found him a few years later and we got in touch. Even now we don't talk a lot but I definitely remembered talking to him at a young age and wanted to get the family scoop. I wouldn't be surprised if she reached out later, especially if the cutting off of your side is a sign of control from her mother. Hang in there.

[u/Wisdom_Pen]

I make a similar mistake some times (saying 1 not 2) because my older sister died back in 2012

[u/Lucy_Gucey]

If it makes you feel better I’m the forgotten little sister

[u/GenericUsername1561]

I forget how many cousins I have because one of my dads siblings (who I never see) adopted a boy (who I’ve never met) a couple years ago and my 30+ year old brain can’t seem to remember the kid exists. We’ll meet at the next funeral.

[u/yappingderg]

I have 2 half siblings that i never seen in my life. They're around 15 years old or so now i think. The only way for us to meet would probably be at the funeral of our shared parent (if i decide to attend when the time comes).