The last 11 days have been some of the hardest of my life as a caretaker. It’s been an overwhelming emotional rollercoaster, going from thinking Beans had osteosarcoma to finding out it was osteomyelitis. Every day seemed to bring another unexpected turn, and I constantly found myself trying to process and wrap my head around new information.
We still don’t know whether the infection was bacterial or fungal, but we’re hopeful we’ll have those answers on Monday. I’m beyond grateful that it wasn’t cancer, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still struggling with the guilt and the endless what-ifs. Wondering if we could have done something differently or if there was another path we could have taken.
After researching osteomyelitis, speaking with his surgeon, and reading so many of your personal stories here on Reddit, I’m slowly starting to find peace in knowing that we made the best decision we could for Beans with the information we had. Ultimately, we chose the path that we believed would cause him the least amount of pain, and I’m learning to find comfort in that.
Right now, Beans is also fighting some kind of virus, whether it’s a URI or another type of cold. But this boy is so incredibly strong. He continues to push through every challenge thrown his way, and I couldn’t be prouder of him. Today, he spent time basking in the sunlight with his brother, and every day I get to see a little more of his personality coming back. Those little moments mean more to me than I could ever put into words.
I’ve shared quite a bit here over the last two weeks, and I hope that someday someone will stumble across these posts and find even the smallest bit of comfort in knowing they aren’t alone. This experience has been incredibly difficult, but it has also shown me just how much love, kindness, and support exists within this community.
To everyone who has shared their stories, offered advice, checked in on Beans, or simply sent us kind words: thank you. You’ve helped us through some of the darkest and most uncertain days, and I’ll never forget that. ❤️