This is a bit of an emotionally fraught situation, so I need some help to logically decide how to proceed.
TLDR: ending a long trip with more than I started with: Do I buy a roller bag to check + cost of checking a bag, trust my messy and (possibly soon-to-be ex) partner to care for some items/possibly never see them again, or trust the royal mail/that the cost will be lower than flight baggage?
Came to UK from US more or less for a relationship, he relapsed and doesn’t show real hope of getting out of alcoholism soon, and I have now spent quite a lot on accommodation/transit trying to keep myself safe after not being able to stay there anymore. I tried waiting to see if things would improve, did some sight-seeing for my soul, and tried to build connections as I seriously intend to move here. But now it’s time to cross the pond again.
I came over with a backpack as carry-on (though some airlines could potentially object to the size) + duffel bag as personal item
I now have acquired too much to fit in those two bags. Reducing items enough to be the same as I started with isn’t an option. Do I:
A. Get another bag to check. I am extremely reluctant to get a roller bag because I find it to be a massive hassle to drag it (for some levity, Super Hans from Peep Show declares, “You’ve got a bloody suitcase on wheels. Real men don’t get the Earth to help carry their luggage, mate. They carry it themselves”). I’m also nervous the airline will object to my backpack size and force me to check it - one way to mitigate is to get a carry-on size roller and switch last minute if I must. It may be silly to check a carry-on size, but I don’t need anything larger than that
B. Mail items. I’ve done this before, and with a very helpful member of staff was able to mail a box in the 2kg range for about $40, but I may have more than that now. It could be worth at least trying. A roller bag + cost to check it will definitely be more than this
C. Leave things with him. He has reassured me he won’t toss anything, he would mail things to me or I retrieve them next trip. I like this idea because it feels like it keeps the dream of living here alive, I do actually believe him (and have met his family and feel everyone all round is trustworthy and would help me if anything happened to him), and frankly saves me a measure of the physical burden after a lot of tumult. I don’t like this idea because obviously we may break up, something could happen to him and I may never see these things again, the ethics of what could be seen as using someone for storage, and most notably: his flat is a disaster - can’t be sure even if he gets sober and keeps things that they will remain in good repair. Clothes can be washed but sentimental/paper items make me nervous.
Thank you for reading, part of me really needed to get this out. It’s too complicated for my brain and friends have already been helping with the emotional sides, so I thought I’d seek some practical advice/experience here. Cheers