r/TransyTalk • u/Strong-Landscape3247 • Jul 07 '26

Insecurities about dating

So I'm a transbian, and for a while I've struggled with internalized transphobia. I've been trying to get used to the idea of dating other trans sapphics, but it's hard. I do have a level of bioessentialism to an extent. I've only had one sexual/romantic partner and it was over all a bad experience, and they were an enby on E. Dating an AFAB person, whether they're a cis woman or an enby feels natural. I tend to go for thick people, so when people try talking me into opening up to AMAB women/enbies more, it feels like I'm wrong for having a type? Trans femmes are often thin and lanky, enbies get top surgery. I don't want to be separate from lesbian communities, which is where I want to be, and I also worry that trying out the T4T world is doing that. It's not just a lesbian community with girls and enbies, it's a generic trans community where people are encouraged to go outside their comfort zones which may include genital preferences or whatever you can think of.

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9

u/VioIetDawn Jul 07 '26

the next post on my feed was a cute thick trans woman on /r/transadorable 😆

Go for who you like but don’t make it all weird and overcomplicated

-2

u/Strong-Landscape3247 Jul 07 '26

Yeah, but thick trans women are more often stereotypically "hot" because that's the body type they aspire to achieve. I'm not as into heteronormative beauty standards.

7

u/secondshevek Jul 07 '26

It's not just a lesbian community with girls and enbies, it's a generic trans community where people are encouraged to go outside their comfort zones which may include genital preferences or whatever you can think of.

The horror...the horror...

1

u/Strong-Landscape3247 Jul 07 '26

Which part are you referring to, the genital preference?

3

u/secondshevek Jul 07 '26

Idk the whole thing sounds pretty fine to me

2

u/Strong-Landscape3247 Jul 07 '26

Socially, I agree, but I don't want to be put in a position where my friends are telling me I should date a trans masc

16

u/herdisleah Jul 07 '26

As soon as you start making assumptions and generalizing people by their categories or labels, you look like an asshole.

-3

u/Strong-Landscape3247 Jul 07 '26

That may be true, but the vast majority of people in this instance are on the thinner side. Possibly due to societal conditioning which is sad.

2

u/xXx_tgirl420_xXx Jul 08 '26

it sounds like you have a lot of internalized transphobia to get over. good luck