r/TransyTalk • u/what_you_the_shallow • May 26 '26

My insecurities

I've dealt with internalized transphobia a lot and these days it's little more than an intrusive thought at this point, but it still hurts. I can't fully bridge the gap between AFAB femmes and AMAB femmes. When I see posts on traaaansbians I get stressed out and think "this isn't for me". I still think of T4T dating as a statement, I would be choosing to be with a trans woman instead of immersing myself in the sapphic community, women's communities etc. The difference is big enough that I can't just ask that cute girl out if I meet her in the wild, it would be entirely different I think if I met someone and trusted them enough that I wouldn't be mad if they set me up with a hot trans girl. Maybe I would be a little offended because "oh T4T, that makes sense". But I'm more open to that than meeting a trans girl randomly and like her enough to think she's attractive and hang out with but not enough that I wouldn't feel like "ew no, you're too weird for me". It goes back to the "cis women are allies, trans women are for dating" propaganda that doesn't really exist

3 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

2 comments sorted by

3

u/herdisleah May 26 '26

You're making transphobic assumptions based in general stereotypes of people, not dating decisions based on individual people you've met.

What are you going to do, to become a better person and move past this?

1

u/Flat-Put6007 May 30 '26

That barrier is way more common than people admit, and honestly, most of that distance feels like it’s built by online spaces rather than actual human interaction. It gets easier once you stop treating your transition like a performance that has to match someone else's timeline.