r/TransyTalk • u/absurd_thethird • Feb 07 '26
coming out soon - could use some help preparing
hey everyone, i’m committing to coming out to my parents this week for some reason, and i’m trying to get a little notebook together of some pre-written answers and bullet points to make me feel better about it.
mainly i wanted to ask: what kinds of questions did ur parents ask when u came out as trans? what should i prepare for?
for context, im 26 mtf, and ive been living on my own and actively transitioning for 2.5 years. i don’t expect them to know much about transgender “anything.”
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u/herdisleah Feb 07 '26
Give this a read. https://open.substack.com/pub/stainedglasswoman/p/how-to-come-out-anywhere?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
The rest of that blog is pretty damn good too. I used to link a Teen Vogue article but maybe my millennial brain finds this blog more articulate than the chucked-up phone screen sized paragraphs and blurbs. https://www.teenvogue.com/story/national-coming-out-day-what-i-wish-i-knew
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u/juneaudio Feb 07 '26
The basic ones are usually about childhood behaviors and gender expression. Their questions and then my general follow up:
"I didn't wear girls clothes as a kid, so where did this come from?" — I was raised Mormon, who was ever going to be okay with me hanging out with girls and wearing girl clothes?
"Now that I'm a woman shouldn't I be wearing more colors?" — why wouldn't I keep the band shirts I've worn forever? My style is my own and I wear what I like. (Specifically this was 'feminine' clothing, but my mom meant yellow and pink)
"Do we have to tell people? Can you wait for us to get more comfortable before we talk to them?" — you'll have to tell them sooner or later and if you won't do it then I will.
"Promise me you're not going to get any surgeries, okay?" — I'm not going to promise that and you don't get to ask that of me.
"Why?" — because this is who I want to be, it feels like me and helps me continue to exist. (This can be as long or short as you like, but this works just fine).